When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#job #salary #consideration

When deciding

Change preposition

on a

show examples

job

salary

is the first thing to consider. Personally, I agree with

this

statement but in my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

other factors

such

as working environment and

job

satisfaction should be taken the same consideration as well

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when making a

job

desicions

Correct your spelling

decisions

decision

. On the one hand, there are various benefits why people consider

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the size of the

salary

offered.

Initially

, it is essential to keep up with basic expenses and lifestyle. And

also

helpful for unexpected cost as illness costs, hospital bills and so forth... Plus, it is better to establish good financial background.

Furthermore

, living keeps increasing year after year and it is leading

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

to feel financial stress. Everything from education and healthcare to food and housing has become expensive. If people are paid well, they will feel that the company appreciates their contribution. Even a good

salary

raises a person's self and social image.

On the other hand

, I believe that other factors are among the most important features when choosing a career.

Firstly

, the working environment should be taken into account. A good working place may include entrainment objects, colleagues,

offices

Correct word choice

and offices

show examples

. In that atmosphere,

employee

Fix the agreement mistake

employees

show examples

could easily increase self-development and productivity by communicating with other workers.

Secondly

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

job

satisfaction

another

Add a missing verb

is another

show examples

essential aspect

should

Correct pronoun usage

that should

show examples

be considered. When it comes to choosing a

job

, a person who wants to earn a big

salary

has to enjoy

while

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

working in a company.

Therefore

, the work hours should be reasonable, the working station should pay well

also

. Employees are human beings like anyone else. In my perspective, a

job

that pays a bit less but offers satisfactory

Change preposition

apply

show examples

working conditions is a much better idea.

To sum up

Correct article usage

the

show examples

size of the

salary

plays a huge role when picking a

job

but other factors in combination have more vital benefits and have more significance than the money.

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Wed May 31 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

310 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

consideration
sole factor
financial stability
security
motivating factor
dissatisfaction
demotivation
job satisfaction
overall well-being
fulfillment
work-life balance
flexible working hours
vacations
career growth opportunities
skill development
advancement
determining factor

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message.
Some cultures encourage children to try hard for their dreams to make them true. Although being passionate can make children achieve their goals, it can have some negative impacts on their lives. This essay will discuss the merits and demerits of this belief and draw some conclusions.
7
band
Some think that the best way to stay fit is to join gym. while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is enough. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In the modern days, many people believe that the most effective way to keep healthy and sporty is going to a gym, while others believe that it is not actually a necessity. Also, gyms are proven to make people and their bodies both look good and feel fit at the same time. It is disagreed that the daily chores are enough for folks to stay in shape. Analyzing the noticeable differences between those who often train in a gym and those who just do the daily efforts such as walking and stair climbing will further prove this statement.
5.5
band
Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Video provides a powerful way to help you prove your point. When you click Online Video, you can paste in the embed code for the video you want to add. You can also type a keyword to search online for the video that best fits your document. To make your document look professionally produced, Word provides header, footer, cover page, and text box designs that complement each other. For example, you can add a matching cover page, header, and sidebar. Click Insert and then choose the elements you want from the different galleries. Themes and styles also help keep your document coordinated. When you click Design and choose a new Theme, the pictures, charts, and SmartArt graphics change to match your new theme. When you apply styles, your headings change to match the new theme. Save time in Word with new buttons that show up where you need them.
6.5
band
You are bothered by the amount of trash in your local park.Write a letter to the head of the city park department .In your letter: • Describe the problem with the trash • Explain why it is a problem • Say what you think the city should do.
This is to call your attention to the amount of trash in the park. I have noticed this for a while now as I love to go to the park most evenings with my kids to enjoy it’s nature and beauty. It’s been drawing lots of attention to birds and cats which eventually spread it all over the environment thereby making it impossible to relax or take a walk in.
7.5
band
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
In some nations, people are getting heavier and standards of health and well-being are falling. This essay will suggest that the principal cause of these issues is the type of nourishment they are eating and submit a government education program as a viable solution, followed by a reasoned conclusion.

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message.

Some think that the best way to stay fit is to join gym. while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is enough. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

You are bothered by the amount of trash in your local park.Write a letter to the head of the city park department .In your letter: • Describe the problem with the trash • Explain why it is a problem • Say what you think the city should do.

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?