IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

the pie charts below shop the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013 summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

the pie charts below shop the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013 summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#shop #sales #sectors #zealand #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given pie graphs illustrate the internet shopping item categories for retailers in New Zealand between 2003 and 2013.
Overall
, sales in
travel
Correct article usage
the travel
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 section
was
Change the verb form
were
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 the dominant
market
 share in 2003,
while
 it replaced the film and music sector as the biggest proportion for online trading in New Zealand in 2013. The two significant internet shopping interests were travel and, clothes with, 36%, and 24%, respectively. Both of the sectors'
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
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 percentages dropped by 7-8% to 16% and 29%, by order over time.
Moreover
, a minor decrease of 7% resulted in losing the first rank
of
Change preposition
in
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online
Correct article usage
the online
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 shopping
market
 for the travel business in New Zealand. The remaining two categories
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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took 40% of total sales in 2003, which were books and, film and music. Despite a little drop of 3% to 22% in 2013, its position in the
market
 inclined to third place.
In contrast
, film and music became the most significant field in the online
market
as
Change preposition
with
show examples
 approximately one-third of the total revenue.
Submitted by historicalpen on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words market with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail sectors
  • online shopping sales
  • percentage increase/decrease
  • significant growth/decline
  • electronic goods
  • clothing and footwear
  • food and beverages
  • household goods
  • recreational goods
  • stable sales
  • emerging sectors
  • overall growth
  • decade comparison
  • shift in consumer behavior
  • e-commerce
  • trend analysis
  • market dynamics
  • purchasing habits
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