Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. -How far do you agree? -What criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid?

No one would deny that certain workers
such
as nurses,doctors and teachers are being underpaid and some
people
believe that they should be paid more
while
other
people
like film actors or company bosses
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
paid
insanly
Correct your spelling
insanely
high for the work that they do.I partially agree with
given
Add an article
the given
show examples
notion.
this
essay state points to support my views.
Apperantly
Correct your spelling
Apparently
,various factors influence a section of
people
to advocate that the health care workers and teachers deserve a pay rise.
to begin
with,medical staff are always short-staffed.
as
Correct your spelling
As
show examples
a result one person does
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work that should have been done by 4
people
.
secondly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
show examples
teachers are often a source of inspiration and motivation,pushing students to do their best even though their students might not believe in themselves.they are able to help shape academic goals.
hence
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
are deserve to be paid fairly.
likewise
Correct your spelling
Likewise
show examples
medical
Replace the word
medicine
show examples
is a difficult field that requires commitment,dedication,
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
,
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
to multitask,intelligence,spontaneous
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
skills and most importantly patience and resilience.
as
Correct your spelling
As
show examples
a result,it deserves to be
compansated
Correct your spelling
compensated
adequately.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
,
people
working in the fields of acting and business
also
contribute to
societies
Fix the agreement mistake
society
show examples
by inspiring
people
in various aspects.
in particular
businessman
Fix the agreement mistake
businessmen
show examples
and
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
can bring
frame
Correct article usage
a frame
show examples
and name
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the countries.through their actions and achievements.
to
Correct your spelling
To
show examples
illustrate
together with
the rise of
maradona
Change the capitalization
Maradona
show examples
in the 1950s,
argentina
Change the capitalization
Argentina
show examples
saw a massive increase in its popularity,
makind
Correct your spelling
making
it a well-known tourist destination by 1960. In conclusion,remuneration is a key consideration of
ant
Correct article usage
the ant
show examples
profession
Replace the word
professionals
show examples
and all of them are struggling to earn a living,
hence
the government is to consider the sector which
require
Change the verb form
requires
show examples
attention and focus funds in the right direction.
Submitted by sharmap1811 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: