IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The two line graphs below show New Zealand import figures from Australia and Japan in the years 1994 - 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The two line graphs below show New Zealand import figures from Australia and Japan in the years 1994 - 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #two #line #graphs #show #zealand #import #figures #australia #japan #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The graphs describe New Zealand's
trades
Fix the agreement mistake
trade
show examples
 with Australia and
Japan
Use synonyms
 between the years 1994 and 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen an upward trend in Australian importation over
time
Use synonyms
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the imports from
Japan
Use synonyms
 have decreased in the same period of
time
Use synonyms
. Regarding imports from Australia, it is noticed a certain fluctuation over
time
Use synonyms
. In 1996 there was a significant increase of nearly 3000
NZ
Use synonyms
million
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.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, in 1999, a sharp decrease happened reaching its lowest point at 3000
NZ
Use synonyms
million
Use synonyms
.
Next,
Linking Words
it had a quick rose to features over 7000, followed by a steep drop of 2000
NZ
Use synonyms
million
Use synonyms
, which ended up with a rapid increase to 8000
NZ
Use synonyms
million
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, importation from
Japan
Use synonyms
 had decreased in the same period of
time
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 some significant differences can be pointed out over
time
Use synonyms
. Until 1997 the features gradually increased to over 6000
NZ
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million
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.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 period, a substantial decline is shown with values dropping around 2000. In the year 2000, a new rose occur reaching the same point in 1997 and in the following ,years a downward tendency can be seen where features dropped to around 2000
NZ
Use synonyms
million
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 an increase is seen in New Zealand imports from Australia,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, from
Japan
Use synonyms
 it has decreased.
Submitted by acarina.simoes on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "after this, on the other hand".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, time, nz, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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