IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the percentage of households, grouped by poverty, on the basis of access to refrigerator, electricity and water in Ghana for the year 1991/1992 to 1998/1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The column graph
illustartes
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illustrates

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the difference between 3 class categories from Ghana and the percentage of
acces
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access

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each of them had
on
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 3 different electric appliances over the
years
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Overall
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
it is clear that
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
non poor
Add a hyphen
non-poor

It appears that non poor is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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 habitants have a higher percentage of accessibility than the poor and very poor ones. It can be seen, that there is an increasing trend between the
years
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 91/92 and 98/99 of access
in
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 all the basic amenities for richer people compared to the less rich ones.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
acces
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access

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of
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 the refrigerator was approximately 20% more
accesible
Correct your spelling
accessible

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for the noon poor compared to the other two.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it can be observed that over the
years
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 the access increases for reach people but decreases for the group of people with less money.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 is clearly shown
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 the electricity service where rich
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households

It seems that household may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 had 73% of access during the
years
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 91 and 92,
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the poor ones were at 57% in 91 and 92 and decreased a 10% in 98 and 99.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreases" was used 2 times.
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