Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
At
this
Linking Words
age
Add a comma
,age
children
waste their Use synonyms
time
watching a huge amount of times Use synonyms
tv
and playing video games. Against Use synonyms
that
some think that it can be harmful Add a comma
,that
for
Change the preposition
to
children
's mental health. Use synonyms
Actually
there is no Add a comma
,Actually
directly
connection between Change the adverb
direct
time
Use synonyms
spending
in front of the Wrong verb form
spent
screen
and mental health.It depends on what they watch and what they play. Use synonyms
Screen
Use synonyms
time
can destroy Use synonyms
kids
' mindsets Use synonyms
while
they are interested in harmful Linking Words
things
but if they use Use synonyms
for
that Change preposition
apply
time
for watching useful Use synonyms
things
Use synonyms
this
idea would not be valid anymore.
From point of my view, what Linking Words
children
do is more important than Use synonyms
where
Correct word choice
what
children
do. Use synonyms
Time
Use synonyms
spending
on beneficial Replace the word
spent
things
in front of Use synonyms
Use synonyms
screen
is much better than Add an article
the screen
a screen
time
Use synonyms
spending
on Replace the word
spent
things
which Use synonyms
able
to damage Add a missing verb
are able
Use synonyms
child
. Sometimes Add an article
a child
the child
screen
Use synonyms
time
may even be Use synonyms
reason
Add an article
the reason
a reason
of
Change preposition
for
succeed
. To clarify, parents should prefer watching documentaries on Replace the word
success
TV
Use synonyms
instead
of playing with bad guys Linking Words
for
their Change preposition
with
children
. Because watching documentary improves Use synonyms
Use synonyms
child's
general knowledge but playing with bad guys does not have any beneficial extent.
Correct article usage
a child's
On the other hand
, Linking Words
first
paragraph does not mean that Change the article
the first
children
should be allowed to Use synonyms
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
TV
for Use synonyms
an
hours and hours. Parents can not be available for checking what their Correct article usage
apply
kids
watch every Use synonyms
time
. There is no doubt thatUse synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
Use synonyms
child
watching channel or playing game which is not for Add an article
a child
kids
will be affected because individuals should learn information in order. There is some knowledge which can leave permanent damage Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a child
child
brain about murders, wars and crimes because Change the noun
child's
Use synonyms
Add an article
the child
a child
child
can be influenced easier than others. They can not decide which is true or not. In order to Fix the agreement mistake
children
Linking Words
this
, if no one Add a missing verb
do this
check
them watching Change the verb form
checks
TV
is extremely dangerous for Use synonyms
children
. Use synonyms
For example
, if Linking Words
Use synonyms
child
has missions which order to kill someone in Add an article
the child
a child
computer
game Correct article usage
a computer
Use synonyms
child
brain normalize that after a Change noun form
child's
few
Correct quantifier usage
little
time
. There are a lot of guilty people who were affected by computer games.
In conclusion, with the easier Use synonyms
accessing
to technology Replace the word
access
children
watch Use synonyms
TV
for surprisingly much Use synonyms
time
. Use synonyms
On the
Linking Words
contrary
some say that it is dangerous for Add a comma
,contrary
kids
' psychology. I declined that there is no Use synonyms
completely
connection between Change the adverb
complete
time
and mental health. The topic has much more Use synonyms
relations
with mental.Fix the agreement mistake
relation
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.