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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

One of your friends wants to apply for a job at a summer school camp as a sports trainer. Write a letter to the camp manager to recommend your friend. In your letter •say how well you know your friend • describe the qualifications and experience that your friend has • explain why your friend would be suitable for this job.

#friends #job #summer #school #camp #sports #trainer #manager #friend #•say #qualifications
Dear Madam/Sir, I am writing
this
 letter to inform
that
Correct pronoun usage
you that
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 one of my friends whose name is Rahul
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
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 to become
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
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 trainer during summer school camping. Since
from
Change preposition
apply
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first grade, we were studying together in
same
Add an article
the same
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 class and were best friends. In elementary school, he always gave excellent
performance
Fix the agreement mistake
performances
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at
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in
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 basketball and other curricular activities.
Therefore
, he won many prizes at
state
Correct article usage
the state
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 and national level. He has done his secondary education in 2015
from
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at
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 Dasmesh Public School.
Then
, he embarked
playing
Change preposition
on playing
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 for
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
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 Basketball team for 2
years
along with
 that he has done 3
years
 of physical education diploma to get
overall
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an overall
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 knowledge of all the sports. After studying, he started
job
Add an article
a job
the job
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 as
gym
Correct article usage
a gym
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 trainer at L.A.
fitness
Correct your spelling
Fitness
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 and worked there for 2
years
. Rahul is
very
Correct article usage
a very
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 friendly, punctual,
goal oriented
Add a hyphen
goal-oriented
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as well as
 determined person. I think he looks perfect for
this
 position as he has
lot
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a lot
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 of experience in sports as he played on state and national
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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 and stayed
gym
Correct article usage
a gym
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 trainer for 2
years
. He will be able to maintain his position. I am attaching his resume with
this
 mail. I will be waiting to hear from you. Thank you Yours sincerely, Jashanpreet
Submitted by jashanpreetmann1515 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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