IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

One of your friends wants to apply for a job at a summer school camp as a sports trainer. Write a letter to the camp manager to recommend your friend. In your letter •say how well you know your friend • describe the qualifications and experience that your friend has • explain why your friend would be suitable for this job.

#friends #job #summer #school #camp #sports #trainer #manager #friend #•say #qualifications
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Dear Madam/Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to inform
that
Correct pronoun usage
you that
show examples
 one of my friends whose name is Rahul
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
 to become
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
show examples
 trainer during summer school camping. Since
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
first grade, we were studying together in
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 class and were best friends. In elementary school, he always gave excellent
performance
Fix the agreement mistake
performances
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 basketball and other curricular activities.
Therefore
Linking Words
, he won many prizes at
state
Correct article usage
the state
show examples
 and national level. He has done his secondary education in 2015
from
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Dasmesh Public School.
Then
Linking Words
, he embarked
playing
Change preposition
on playing
show examples
 for
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
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 Basketball team for 2
years
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
 that he has done 3
years
Use synonyms
 of physical education diploma to get
Linking Words
overall
Add an article
an overall
show examples
 knowledge of all the sports. After studying, he started
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
 as
gym
Correct article usage
a gym
show examples
 trainer at L.A.
fitness
Correct your spelling
Fitness
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 and worked there for 2
years
Use synonyms
. Rahul is
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 friendly, punctual,
goal oriented
Add a hyphen
goal-oriented
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as well as
Linking Words
 determined person. I think he looks perfect for
this
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 position as he has
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of experience in sports as he played on state and national
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 and stayed
gym
Correct article usage
a gym
show examples
 trainer for 2
years
Use synonyms
. He will be able to maintain his position. I am attaching his resume with
this
Linking Words
 mail. I will be waiting to hear from you. Thank you Yours sincerely, Jashanpreet
Submitted by jashanpreetmann1515 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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