do young people today make good use of their leisure time? or do they spend too much time watching television and playing video games, instead of taking part in more productive activities?

#people #leisure #time #television #video #games #part #activities

Leisure

is the

time

that

people

can enjoy their free

time

and do the things they like. They can relax, rest, and enjoy life after

Change the verb form

doing

show examples

their everyday

activities

such

as working, studying, and

house work

Correct your spelling

housework

show examples

. For young

peoploe

Correct your spelling

people

leisure

time

is important because it can

increase

creativity,

physical

Correct word choice

and physical

show examples

and mental health.

Therefore

, they use their

leisure

time

in a good way.

On the other hand

, many

Change preposition

apply

show examples

young

people

choose watching

television

and playing

video

games

as their

leisure

activities

. In my opinion,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

watching

television

and playing

video

games

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

makes our

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

and body feel

relax

Wrong verb form

relaxed

show examples

, refresh, and recharge. Another reason why young

people

loves

Correct subject-verb agreement

love

show examples

watching

Wrong verb form

watch

show examples

television

because

Add a missing verb

is because

show examples

they can learn new things and

increase

knowledge

Correct pronoun usage

their knowledge

show examples

Other

Change the wording

Another

show examples

reason is these

activities

feel enjoyable and entertaining. But, it is very important to balance it with other

activities

. Too much watching

television

and playing

video

games

can have a negative effect,

increase

anxiety, and affect their mental health. Some expert says

Change preposition

apply

show examples

watching

television

or playing

video

games

just

Change preposition

for just

show examples

one hour per day. If more than that, it will affect and

increase

heart disease.

However

, many

people

say that it is better to do

a productive

Correct the article-noun agreement

productive activities

a productive activity

show examples

activities

rather than watching

television

and playing

video

games

. Because it will be more beneficial or have a good improvement to life.

Some

Correct determiner usage

show examples

example that a lot of

people

consider

Correct your spelling

show examples

productive

activities

Fix the agreement mistake

activity

show examples

is exercise. It can burn calories and makes the body more healthy. In conclusion, young

people

use their

leisure

time

in a great way. They choose to

watching

Change the verb

watch

show examples

television

and

playing

Wrong verb form

play

show examples

video

games

in their

leisure

time

which

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

them feel

relax

Wrong verb form

relaxed

show examples

and recharge.

Neverthless

Correct your spelling

Nevertheless

, many

people

think that they should do more productive

activities

instead

of just sitting in a chair or couch.

Submitted by natashasulaemann on Tue Jun 20 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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do young people today make good use of their leisure time? or do they spend too much time watching television and playing video games, instead of taking part in more productive activities?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education, and that governments should make it free for students, no matter what financial bike round they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

hese days, many people have their own computer and telephone, so it is quite easy for them to do their job at home. Does working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages?

You are looking for a full-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter: introduce yourself explain what sort of job you would like say what experience and skills you have

Food can be produced much more cheaply today because of improved fertilizers and better machinery. however ,some of the method used to do this may be dangerous to human health and may have negative effects on local communities to what extent do you you agree or disagree?

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?