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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

THe bar chart below shows the top ten contries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarise the infromation by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

THe bar chart below shows the top ten contries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarise the infromation by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
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The picture given presents the data of the top ten countries
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 manufactured and consumed
electricity
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 in 2014, measured by
billion
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kWh
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, China and the United States are the two countries who
has
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have
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 the biggest
production
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 and
consumption
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 of
electricity
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. Generally, all of the states have larger
electricity
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production
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 than
consumption
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, except for Germany. China led the
production
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 and
consumption
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 of
electricity
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 at 5,398 and 5,322
billion
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kWh
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 respectively. In the next place, the United States manufactured 4,099 and used 3,866
billion
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kWh
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, making it the second largest country in terms of
electricity
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production
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 and
consumption
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.
However
Linking Words
, excluding Russia, the rest of the countries'
production
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 and
consumption
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 never exceeded 1,000
billion
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kWh
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the Republic of Korea is the one and only nation with output and
consumption
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 below 500
billion
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kWh
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,
with
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apply
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which acts as the smallest electric-producing and
consumpting
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consumption
 country. The output of
electricity
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 between Japan, India, Canada, France, Brazil, and Germany varies between 526 and 936
billion
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kWh
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, with
electricity
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 usage between 455 and 856
billion
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kWh
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. Even so, Germany is the only one
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 has
bigger
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a bigger
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 number in
consumption
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 than its output.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, billion, kwh, production, consumption with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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