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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts give iformation about two genres of TV programmes watched by men and women and four different age groups in Australia. Two grahs show about two various TV shows, these are reality shows and game shows

The charts give iformation about two genres of TV programmes watched by men and women and four different age groups in Australia. Two grahs show about two various TV shows, these are reality shows and game shows
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The charts give
iformation
Correct your spelling
information
 about two genres of TV programmes watched by men and women and four different
age
Use synonyms
 groups in Australia. Two
grahs
Correct your spelling
graphs
grass
 show about two various TV shows, these are reality shows and game shows.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the charts that women and the 45+
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 tend to watch more television than others. In the diorama about reality shows it can be seen that the
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of women
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 twice as many as men who choose
this
Linking Words
gener
Correct your spelling
genre
 of programme. The rate of people
whatching
Correct your spelling
watching
 reality shows increases steadily from ages 16 to 45 and over. The lowest
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of people from
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
cattegory
Correct your spelling
category
 is a little more than 50% of the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 16-24 and the highest is almost 70% of the
group
Use synonyms
 45+. In the second diorama about game shows it can be noticed that the interest rate of females and males watching is almost the same. Of the
age
Use synonyms
cattegory
Correct your spelling
category
,people over 45 are the first who enjoy
this
Linking Words
 type of TV program, they reach almost 70%. The second
group
Use synonyms
 is 16-24, which slightly
exceed
Correct subject-verb agreement
exceeds
show examples
 the bar
50
Change preposition
of 50
show examples
%,
then
Linking Words
 there is
35
Correct article usage
the 35
show examples
-44
group
Use synonyms
 with 40%,and the
last
Linking Words
,
only
Add a missing verb
is only
show examples
 1% behind the
group
Use synonyms
 of 25-34.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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