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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Women and men are commonly seen as having different strength and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#women #men #strength #weaknesses #right #males #females #professions #gender
In some
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
show examples
, there is
gender
 inequality between
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 and
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 which is independent
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their ability that includes body and
mentally
Change the word
mental
show examples
 aspects. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss why some public
choose
Change the verb form
chooses
show examples
 employees based on
gender
 and doesn’t allow them to be in
specific
Add an article
a specific
show examples
 career. On the one hand, some
people
 believe that men and women were created differently so they are distinguished in appearance,
characteristic
Fix the agreement mistake
characteristics
show examples
,
behavioral
Replace the word
behaviour
show examples
 and personality.
Furthermore
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,Furthermore
show examples
profession
Replace the word
professionals
show examples
 are sorted by type of task. Some of them need to be
strength
Replace the word
strong
show examples
 and some
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 need to have innovative and management thoughts. Everyone knows that generally men have physical power and other side women are very creative in partial issues, so they can be successful managers.
On the other hand
, in the
world
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,world
show examples
 there are many
people
 who are against
gender
 inequality. They believe that for each situation, society should hold a competition between all
gender
 to
proved
Wrong verb form
prove
show examples
 their capabilities.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 some of the best chefs are men in the world and sometimes women are able to do their tasks as
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 best judge or engineer. Even
so
Add a comma
,so
show examples
 they could be experienced politicians.
Therefore
 , they claim that in some cases abilities are more fascinating in some
people
 that are unexpectedly suitable for them. In conclusion, there are many attitudes about selecting
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 and
male
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males
show examples
 in different job positions. In my view, all
people
 have
this
 right to apply for several positions and
accepted
Add a missing verb
be accepted
show examples
 for them just based on their skills not
gender
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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