Tourism today creates a variety of problems, such as pollution due to flights, traffic congestion and water pollution. Do you think that governments should impose extra taxes on flights or accommodation to restrict today's tourism industry?

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One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is
tourism
and
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
environmental effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Now
people
are beginning to realize that
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
show examples
industry
encourage
Wrong verb form
is encouraged
show examples
around the world in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
many aspects, which affects nature with benefits and
also
with disadvantages. Personally,
i
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I
show examples
tend to think that
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
show examples
industry should take
support
Correct article usage
the support
show examples
of
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
to develop.
Firstly
,
tourism
on of the important
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
for
people
who wanted encourage their
horizon
Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
show examples
,
also
developming
Correct your spelling
developing
tourism
government
receive a lot of
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
and
fix
Correct subject-verb agreement
fixes
show examples
their
finanssial
Correct your spelling
financial
situation,
therefore
government
should decide alternatively variant to save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
nature.
Instead
extra
Change preposition
of extra
show examples
taxes
they can launch many video
presentages
Correct your spelling
presents
percentages
for
people
, how they protect our environment
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
pollution.
On the other hand
, it can
also
be argued that it is impossible to imagine a world without
tourism
. For
people
who are tired of everyday life,
tourism
is the best choice, so introducing additional
taxes
may not be the best solution because not all
people
are rich
to
Rephrase
enough to
show examples
pay additional
taxes
without any problem. These situations have divided
people
into rich and poor, which is completely unnecessary in our time. In conclusion, taking into account everything mentioned in our final analysis, we can say that
tourism
is an important part of our lives and the
government
should not impose additional
taxes
. in my opinion, there is always a solution to any situation, but it should not limit
people
's travel around the world.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is great. However, the main points need more support with specific examples. This will strengthen your argument and help provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all your ideas are well-connected and supported with examples. This will improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Avoid minor grammatical mistakes and maintain consistency with spellings. This will make your writing clearer and more professional.
introduction conclusion present
The essay opens with a clear introduction, stating the issue and giving a personal opinion. This is effective in setting up the discussion.
introduction conclusion present
You have a strong conclusion that reiterates your stance and summarizes your key arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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