IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

At an event you attended recently, you met an employee of a company you would like to work at. You talked to her and she suggested that you should contact her if you needed any help with your job application. Write a letter to this employee. In your letter: 1. remind her how you met and ask for some help 2. tell her what kind of job you are interested in 3. ask her about the company's job application process

Dear Ms Rhodes, I am writing to ask for your help with my job application at Salesforce, which you kindly offered when we met at the Consultants and Architects conference
organized
Use the right word
organised
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 by Salesforce in Vancouver, British Columbia. You may recall that we had a long conversation about whether I should continue my career as a software architect or move towards becoming a consultant. It was a pleasure to meet you, and I would be grateful if you could answer a couple of questions. I was confused about choosing the path forward in my career
though
Punctuation problem
, though
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 you had mentioned that being a consultant is better for the long run, and based on your advice, I have decided that I would like to take a step forward towards progressing my career on
this
Linking Words
 path. I am preparing to join Salesforce before the end of
this
Linking Words
 year. I have tried researching the job application process
though
Punctuation problem
, though
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 there is not much information available online about the same. It would help me immensely if you could guide me with the details about the application process
including
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, including
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 the number and type of interview rounds
Linking Words
as
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, as
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 well as the interview panel details. I look forward to hearing from you soon
and
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, and
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,
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apply
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hopefully
Add a comma
hopefully,
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 we will get to work together in the coming year. Best Regards, Selmon Boi

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task response
Be clearer about the job you want. Name the job title in the letter.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one idea in each paragraph and use short links to move from idea to idea.
language use
Fix small errors in spelling, comma use and odd phrases.
task response
Ask direct questions about the steps of the process and what you must show.
tone
Polite and respectful tone.
content
Good reminder of where you met the person.
content
Shows your wish to join the company and asks for help.
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