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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below gives information about employment rates and the average annual salary of new graduates from an Australian university in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Graduate employment rates and average annual salary (2009)

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The table provides information on the
employment
Use synonyms
 rates and average annual
salaries
Use synonyms
 of new
graduates
Use synonyms
 from an Australian university in 2009, categorized by their areas of study. Notable features and comparisons emerge from the data. The field of Health stands out with the highest
employment
Use synonyms
 rate of 93%. Law and Engineering/I.T. follow closely with 87% and 86%
employment
Use synonyms
 rates, respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Business lags significantly, with only an 18%
employment
Use synonyms
 rate. Regarding average annual
salaries
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, Law and Engineering/I.T.
graduates
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 lead at $59,000 per year,
while
Linking Words
 Business
graduates
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, despite a lower
employment
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 rate, earn $52,000 annually. Art and Social Sciences
graduates
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 make $50,000 per year,
whereas
Linking Words
 Science
graduates
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 have the lowest average salary at $39,000. In conclusion, pursuing degrees in Health, Law, or Engineering/I.T. appear promising in terms of higher
employment
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 rates and better
salaries
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.
Graduates
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 in the Business field may face challenges finding
employment
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, but those who do secure competitive
salaries
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. Art and Social Sciences
graduates
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also
Linking Words
 find reasonably well-paying jobs.
Graduates
Use synonyms
 should consider their passions and career goals when choosing their fields of study.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, salaries, graduates with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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