IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You recently visited a tourist attraction and you were very pleased with the help given to you by the staff. Write a letter to the head of staff at the tourist attraction. In your letter: give details of the circumstances of your visit describe the help given to you by the staff say what you want the head staff to do You should You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 to inform you about the help, I received from staff, during my visit to a famous historical fort in your city. I regularly travel to the city for my work, but I never got an opportunity to visit the historical location. During my
last
Linking Words
 visit, on the recommendation of my cab driver, I decided to look for the site. During my,
sightseen
Verb problem
apply
show examples
I found some difficulty in understanding the local language, which was written on the stand mentioning the history of the location. One of the staff
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr
show examples
 Kamal came there, and
help
Wrong verb form
helped
show examples
 me understand everything about it till I stayed there. He
also
Linking Words
 suggested other famous sites in the city. I would like to thank you for guiding them well. During our, conversation he mentioned not having rest time as a part of his duties. I request you to give him a break during his duty hours. And please convey my regards to him for a bright future. Your cooperation in the matter is highly appreciated. Thanking you, Yours faithfully, Jen Karla.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to check for grammar mistakes like extra commas and word choice.
task achievement
Try to add more detail about the place and what you enjoyed.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear greeting and closing which makes it polite and formal.
task achievement
You used specific examples, like the name of the staff member, which adds a personal touch.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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