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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The first graph gives the number of passengers travelling by train in Sydney. The second graph provides information on the percentage of trains running on time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first graph gives the number of passengers travelling by train in Sydney. The second graph provides information on the percentage of trains running on time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#first #passengers #train #sydney #second #information #percentage #trains #time #summarise #features #comparisons
Overall
, between the
years
 1995 and 2004, the
number
 of train
passengers
 in Sydney have significantly
increase
Change the verb form
increased
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, from 250
million
passengers
 in 1995 to 279
million
passengers
 in 2004. More specifically, between the
years
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1995 to 1999, there has been a stable increase in the
number
 of
passengers
, with the growth of
passengers
 between 1995 to 1996 being the highest of the 4
years
, increasing by about 10
million
 people.
However
 though in the next 2
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
, a sharp rise can be identified with a massive jump from 266
million
passengers
 to 300
million
passengers
, a jump of 40
million
passengers
, which peaked
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2001. After that though, the
number
 of
passengers
 face a rapid decline in the span of one
year
 from 2001 to 2002, bringing the
number
 of
passengers
 down to 280
million
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
. In the consequent
years
 of 2003 and 2004, the
number
 of people travelling by train dipped by a tiny amount, decreasing from 1 to 2
million
 people. In conclusion, the
number
 of train
passengers
 in Sydney
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been increasing
from
Change preposition
since
show examples
 1995 and reached
it's
Replace the word
its
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 peak in 2001. Since
then
, the
number
 of
passengers
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
fell
Change the verb form
fallen
felled
show examples
 to around 279
million
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
 in the
year
 2003 and remained the same for the next
year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2004 as well.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, number, passengers, million, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "jump" was used 2 times.
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