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Writing Samples
Band 7

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cemen-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cemen-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
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The given diagrams illustrate the several steps of
cement
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 and its equipment, and the
process
Use synonyms
 of
cement
Use synonyms
 is used to make concrete for building aims.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are five stages of
cement
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 starting from the mixture of all the raw materials to packing them into bags, and there are only two stages of concrete
production
Use synonyms
. Looking at the information of the
cement
Use synonyms
-making
process
Use synonyms
, all the raw substances including limestone and clay are crushed by a machine so that it becomes powder.
Then
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 powder is mixed into the mixer machine.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, it passes through a rotating heater where fire is added into the heater hole. The next
process
Use synonyms
 is putting the substance into a grinder, and the
cement
Use synonyms
 is ready to pack into the bags. With respect to concrete
production
Use synonyms
, there is a particular formula in
this
Linking Words
process
Use synonyms
 which is 15% of
cement
Use synonyms
, 10% of water, 25% of sand, and 50% of gravel put into a big concrete mixer. All those materials are mixed and it is ready to use for building purposes.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cement, production, process with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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