The graphs below show the percentage of math graduates and all graduates who got full time job after graduating from a university in Australia and also show the average salary of both these types of grads, from 2004 to 2012.

IELTS Writing Task Chart for The graphs below show the percentage of math graduates and all graduates who got full time job after graduating from a university in Australia and also show the average salary of both these types of grads, from 2004 to 2012.

The line chart and table give information for the proportion of

full time

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

employment

Use synonyms

and

average

Add an article

an average

show examples

yearly

salary

Use synonyms

Math

Use synonyms

and all

graduates

Use synonyms

from an Australian university in an eight-year period, between 2004 and 2012.

it is clear that

Linking Words

the Maths

graduates

Use synonyms

surpassed all

graduates

Use synonyms

for

both

Use synonyms

full-time

employment

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and average

salary

Use synonyms

Additionally

Linking Words

, the percentage of full-time

employment

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remained unchanged over the year period,

whereas

Linking Words

the salaries go up with time. In 2004, the proportion of

Math

Use synonyms

graduates

Use synonyms

getting full-time jobs was 80%,

while

Linking Words

only 65% of all

graduates

Use synonyms

guaranteed

Add a missing verb

were guaranteed

show examples

full-time

employment

Use synonyms

. The percentage of

both

Use synonyms

Maths and all

graduates

Use synonyms

slightly increased

approximately

Change preposition

by approximately

show examples

10% over two years.

However

Linking Words

, after the year 2008, the proportion dropped for

both

Use synonyms

and made up the same values in 2012 compared to the year 2004. Looking at the statistic for the average

salary

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in two years, 2004 and 2006,

Math

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and all

graduates

Use synonyms

was the same

salary

Use synonyms

with $41,000 and $43,000. The salaries of

both

Use synonyms

math

Use synonyms

and all

graduates

Use synonyms

rose continuously with time but

math

Use synonyms

graduates

Change noun form

graduates'

graduate's

show examples

Use synonyms

salary

Fix the agreement mistake

salaries

show examples

went up higher and more rapidly than all

graduates

Use synonyms

in the next six years. In 2012,

Math

Use synonyms

graduates

Use synonyms

got pay of $56,000

while

Linking Words

others got only $51,000.

anhnguhongmai

Aug 15, 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, salary, math, graduates, both with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "go up" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

199 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

employment rate
percentage of graduates
full-time job
average salary
trend analysis
comparison
unemployment
economic conditions
graduate population
specified period

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The graphs below show the percentage of math graduates and all graduates who got full time job after graduating from a university in Australia and also show the average salary of both these types of grads, from 2004 to 2012.

More and more people are opting for ready-made food instead of freshly cooked food. Do this development has more advantages over disadvantages.

Nowadays a growing number of people with health problems trying alternative medicine and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercises and sport ,more time with family and freinds,whereas now many suffer loniness and health problems. what are the cause of this and what are the solutions?

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.