The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house. The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day.

The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house. The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day.
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D The given first
chart
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demonstrates the
ratio
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of individuals including in some kinds of
housework
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with cooking,
tiding
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tidying
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, pet caring, and fixing the house based on their gender in a country. The given
second
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chart
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provides a comparison of the amount of
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time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
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time
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by gender.
Overall
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, it can clearly be seen from the first
chart
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that
whereas
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the percentage of
men
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making
housework
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is less than
women
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,
according to
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the
second
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chart
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, the proportion of
women
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consuming
time
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to make
housework
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is higher than those of
men
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. Turning to the first main feature, where making
housework
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is considered,
while
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the
ratio
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of
men
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including cooking,
cleaning
Correct word choice
and cleaning
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reaches
to
Change preposition
apply
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60% and 40%, respectively, the figures for
women
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reach
to
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apply
show examples
80%, and 60%, respectively. When it comes to house repairs, those of
men
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with about 19%
surpasses
Correct subject-verb agreement
surpass
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the
ratio
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of
women
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with 10%.
However
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, in pet
care
Add a comma
,care
show examples
both
of
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apply
show examples
gender are almost involved in the same
ratio
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as
Change preposition
of
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20%. As for the
second
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main feature, in relation to consuming
time
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,
while
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the
ratio
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of
men
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spending
time
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for cooking and cleaning is 60% and around 40%, respectively, those of
women
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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82% and 68%. The most significant difference that can be observed
the
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in the
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second
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chart
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is to consume
time
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for house repairs because
men
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spend approximately 20%,
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women
Correct word choice
and women
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spend only around 2.5%.
Submitted by eerkare on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, ratio, housework, second, time, men, women with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reaches" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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