IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

the charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparision where relevant.

the charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparision where relevant.
#show #proportions #british #students #university #england #languages #addition #english #summarise #information #features #comparision
The pie chart illustrates the percentage of British pupils in one university who can
talk
Verb problem
speak
show examples
 in other languages rather than
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
 over the period of 2000 and 2010.
Overall
, Spanish was the most spoken
language
 in 2000 and 2010.
while
 people who spoke two other languages were the least
throught
Correct your spelling
through
throughout
 the period. In 2000, students who spoke English only
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 represented 20% of the total pupils.
while
spanish
Change the capitalization
Spanish
show examples
 talking individuals were the largest
amongest
Correct your spelling
amongst
 them, with 30%. followed by French and another
language
 with 15 % for each.
those
Capitalize word
Those
show examples
 who spoke German and two other
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 formed 10% for each.
While in
Correct word choice
In
show examples
 2010, Spanish
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
gained more popularity and increased by 5%. Folks who spoke another
language
 showed
increment
Correct article usage
an increment
show examples
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 5%
also
.
English only
Add a hyphen
English-only
show examples
 and French speakers decreased by 10% and 5 % respectively.
German speaking
Add a hyphen
German-speaking
show examples
 and polyglot pupils remained at the same percentage of 10%.
Submitted by islam_biologist on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words language with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: