IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The bar chart gives information about the percentage of workers in different sectors of employment in three countries at different stages of economic development.

The bar chart gives information about the percentage of workers in different sectors of employment in three countries at different stages of economic development.
#bar #information #percentage #workers #sectors #employment #three #countries #stages #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The provided bar chart illustrates the data on the proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 who come from three different countries doing three different kinds of
work
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that there are various differences between the occupation
as well as
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 coming from three countries.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, speaking of Japan, approximately six out of ten
people
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 in the service
sector
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 figure is half more than the number of
people
Use synonyms
 employed in the industrial
sector
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, a mere 5% of the working population works in the agricultural
sector
Use synonyms
. As far as India is concerned, we can see that agriculture is its major
work
Use synonyms
, the number is nearly
two thirds
Add a hyphen
two-thirds
show examples
 of its
people
Use synonyms
 ,
while
Linking Words
 the service
sector
Use synonyms
 hires less than half of
this
Linking Words
 number.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the lowest percentage is the industrial
sector
Use synonyms
, with only 10%. When it comes to Brazil, exactly half of the
people
Use synonyms
 living there
work
Use synonyms
 in the servicer
sector
Use synonyms
, which is only ten percentage points lower than Japan.
Subsequently
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 working in the agricultural
sector
Use synonyms
 and industrial
sector
Use synonyms
 are both around 25%.
Submitted by skin1119 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words people, work, sector with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • percentage
  • workers
  • sectors of employment
  • economic development
  • overview
  • comparison
  • three countries
  • stages
  • change
  • impact
  • differences
  • reasons
What to do next:
Look at other essays: