The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010
The
two
pie charts illustrate the percentage
of British students
at one university who could speak other languages
and also
English in 2000 and 2010 in the UK.
Overall
, many British students
used to more
speak in Spanish Correct quantifier usage
apply
rather
than others in 2000. When it comes to Rephrase
more
rate
Add an article
the rate
a rate
of
during the next decade, Change preposition
apply
two
other languages
are
used by Wrong verb form
will be
pupils
of the United Kingdom.
There were
Change the verb form
was
significant
part of Add an article
a significant
pupils
in the proportion of students
could
speak in English Correct pronoun usage
who could
to
30% in 2000. Change preposition
apply
Also
, the percentage
of students
spoke to 20% Spanish . In addition
, other language
and Fix the agreement mistake
languages
french
were spoken by 30% Capitalize word
French
pupils
. Change preposition
of pupils
Nevertheless
, the proportion of students
who spoke in two
other languages
and German reached a low 20%.
As far as the second chart is concerned, the percentage
of students
who were able to speak English peaked at 35%. Furthermore
, after ten years, there was a moderate rise in the proportion of pupils
of British had spoken to 20% in other languages
and also
the percentage
of students
who could speak two
other languages
increased to 5% more than the rate of
2000. Change preposition
in
Finally
, there were 30% of students
could speak German, Spanish and French in 2010.Submitted by islomov1229 on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words two, percentage, students, languages, pupils with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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