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The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010
#show #proportions #british #students #university #england #languages #addition #english
The
two
 pie charts illustrate the
percentage
 of British
students
 at one university who could speak other
languages
 and
also
 English in 2000 and 2010 in the UK.
Overall
, many British
students
 used to
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
speak in Spanish
rather
Rephrase
more
show examples
 than others in 2000. When it comes to
rate
Add an article
the rate
a rate
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
during the next decade,
two
 other
languages
are
Wrong verb form
will be
show examples
 used by
pupils
 of the United Kingdom. There
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 part of
pupils
 in the proportion of
students
could
Correct pronoun usage
who could
show examples
 speak in English
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
30% in 2000.
Also
, the
percentage
 of
students
 spoke to 20% Spanish .
In addition
, other
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 and
french
Capitalize word
French
show examples
 were spoken by 30%
pupils
Change preposition
of pupils
show examples
.
Nevertheless
, the proportion of
students
 who spoke in
two
 other
languages
 and German reached a low 20%. As far as the second chart is concerned, the
percentage
 of
students
 who were able to speak English peaked at 35%.
Furthermore
, after ten years, there was a moderate rise in the proportion of
pupils
 of British had spoken to 20% in other
languages
 and
also
 the
percentage
 of
students
 who could speak
two
 other
languages
 increased to 5% more than the rate
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2000.
Finally
, there were 30% of
students
 could speak German, Spanish and French in 2010.
Submitted by islomov1229 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words two, percentage, students, languages, pupils with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportions
  • British students
  • university
  • speaking other languages
  • language proficiency
  • overall trends
  • comparison
  • 2000
  • 2010
  • chart
  • data
  • percentage
  • significant
  • increase
  • decrease
  • noteworthy
  • comparative analysis
  • improvement
  • decline
  • conclusion
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