The charts give information about two genres of TV programmes watched by men and women and four different age groups in Australia.

The charts give information about two genres of TV programmes watched by men and women and four different age groups in Australia.
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Modern
gadgets
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like smartphones and tablets are widely used by young
people
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. Could these
devices
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boost
creativity
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among youngsters potentially?
This
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is a controversial question
of
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for
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scientists
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. I, personally, believe that if these
devices
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are used properly, they have
ability
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the ability
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to bring
creativity
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to the youth. On the one hand, it has been said that young
people
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waste a huge amount of
time
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using modern
gadgets
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so, they cannot think broadly or concentrate on what they should do and just do an aimless activity.
However
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,
this
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seems kind of cliché to a group of
scientists
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and they state that the
time
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usage of modern
devices
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is not an idleness. They claim that
although
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these
gadgets
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are apparent
time
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consumer
devices
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, they create wonderful opportunities
which
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that
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are given to young
people
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to become familiar with a wide variety of activities, ideas, and scientific issues. As they encounter a new topic, not only do more related ideas come to their mind but
also
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motivate them to continue searching which leads to even more
creativity
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. In regard to the
creativity
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that
such
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devices
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bring, it has been seen that many
people
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use their cellphones or tablets for games, raddles, drawing, or design. These activities are linked with thinking.
in
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In
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fact, the more
time
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they spend on these activities through modern
gadgets
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, the more creative person they will become. It has been proven that the individuals who play more games or riddle, have a wider horizon and they can solve the problems far easier than others. Artists or drawers, in the other case, have a great opportunity for trial and error. They can implement whatever comes to their mind in these
devices
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without worry and improve their design until they are satisfied. In conclusion, the youth whether they are gamers or artists or whatever, can benefit from the potential of these
devices
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.
Although
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there is an argument among
scientists
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,
according to
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a statement of some
scientists
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, the usage of these modern
gadgets
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can make them a more creative person. As I said earlier, I agree with
this
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group of
scientists
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.
Submitted by elikaaghaii on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words gadgets, people, devices, creativity, scientists, time with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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