IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The charts give information about two genres of TV programmes watched by men and women and four different age groups in Australia.

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Modern
gadgets
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 like smartphones and tablets are widely used by young
people
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. Could these
devices
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 boost
creativity
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 among youngsters potentially?
This
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 is a controversial question
of
Change preposition
for
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scientists
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. I, personally, believe that if these
devices
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 are used properly, they have
ability
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the ability
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 to bring
creativity
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 to the youth. On the one hand, it has been said that young
people
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 waste a huge amount of
time
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 using modern
gadgets
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 so, they cannot think broadly or concentrate on what they should do and just do an aimless activity.
However
Linking Words
,
this
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 seems kind of cliché to a group of
scientists
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 and they state that the
time
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 usage of modern
devices
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 is not an idleness. They claim that
although
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 these
gadgets
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 are apparent
time
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 consumer
devices
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, they create wonderful opportunities
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 are given to young
people
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 to become familiar with a wide variety of activities, ideas, and scientific issues. As they encounter a new topic, not only do more related ideas come to their mind but
also
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 motivate them to continue searching which leads to even more
creativity
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. In regard to the
creativity
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 that
such
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devices
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 bring, it has been seen that many
people
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 use their cellphones or tablets for games, raddles, drawing, or design. These activities are linked with thinking.
in
Capitalize word
In
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 fact, the more
time
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 they spend on these activities through modern
gadgets
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, the more creative person they will become. It has been proven that the individuals who play more games or riddle, have a wider horizon and they can solve the problems far easier than others. Artists or drawers, in the other case, have a great opportunity for trial and error. They can implement whatever comes to their mind in these
devices
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 without worry and improve their design until they are satisfied. In conclusion, the youth whether they are gamers or artists or whatever, can benefit from the potential of these
devices
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.
Although
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 there is an argument among
scientists
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,
according to
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 a statement of some
scientists
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, the usage of these modern
gadgets
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 can make them a more creative person. As I said earlier, I agree with
this
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 group of
scientists
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words gadgets, people, devices, creativity, scientists, time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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