IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You have recently bought a Telephone with answer machine from an online shop. The web page said that the answer machine shows you a list of who left a message so you can choose which to play first. But after taking it home you find out that only the most recent call is kept in the calls list. Write an e-mail letter to the store manager. In your e-mail: •say who you are •explain the problem •say what action you would like the store to take You should You do NOT need to write your own address.

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
e-mail
Correct your spelling
email
letter
Check wording
apply
show examples
to you regarding my recent experience with your online store. I heartily feel disappointed with the online purchase. My name is Jen Karla, and I live in the Briston area of Chicago. I am working as a teacher
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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in
Change preposition
at
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 the local school. I would like to mention my
last
Linking Words
 purchase of a phone with
answering
Correct article usage
an answering
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 machine-wide invoice no. XABC35409. On your
company
Check wording
company's
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 web page
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 the product detail section mentioned it is easy to play unlimited recordings as an instrument has in built-in memory card. That really makes me interested in buying it. But unfortunately, on trying the
phone
Punctuation problem
phone,
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 I came to know that it plays only the most recent voice. It automatically deletes data if it is old. Being a working professional, it is very important for me to have records of all my calls because most of the time, I do not stay at home. Information on your
company
Check wording
company's
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 site is totally wrong and misguided. In the matter, I want all my amount refunded
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
Linking Words
 time you have to arrange for buyback courier service charges.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if action is not taken in
proper
Correct article usage
a proper
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 time, I might have to report
in
Change preposition
to
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consumer
Correct article usage
the consumer
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 court. Looking for your cooperation in the matter. Yours faithfully, Jen Karla

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task response
Be clear on who you are and what you want. say your name and what you ask in one line.
coherence cohesion
Break the letter to three parts. One idea per paragraph. Use link words to join ideas.
tone
Polite tone in the opening and closing.
content
The letter states the problem and the action you want.
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