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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the percentage in the share of international students among university graduates in different Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage in the share of international students among university graduates in different Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The following illustration depicts the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of international
students
Use synonyms
 in different Canadian provinces in 2001 and 2006. The graph shows the following cities New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Quebec, Alberta, British Columbia, Manitoba, Newfoundland and Labrador,
lastly
Linking Words
 Ontario.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can observe that the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased in every
city
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 in 2006, except
of
Change preposition
for
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 the
city
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 of Alberto.
Also
Linking Words
, the highest number of international
students
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 in both 2001 and 2006 visited the universities in New Brunswick. More than 10% of
graduates
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have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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visited the
city
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 of New Brunswick in 2006,
this
Linking Words
percentage
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 was slightly less in 2001, that's why about 7% of
grauduates
Correct your spelling
graduates
 were from other countries. Nova Scotia and British Columbia had the same
percentage
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 of international
students
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 in 2006.
However
Linking Words
, in 2001 Nova Scotia's
percentage
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 was higher (around 6%),
British
Correct word choice
and British
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 Columbia had almost 5% the same year. More than 5% of the
graduates
Use synonyms
 of the
city
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 of Quebec were international in both years (around 6% in 2001;
almost
Correct word choice
and almost
show examples
 10% in 2006). Alberta had more international
graduates
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 in 2001, it made up exactly 5% of all
graduates
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, but in 2006
this
Linking Words
 number
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
slightly decreased, it made up around 3%. Universities in Ontario had increased their
percentage
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 of international
students
Use synonyms
 in 2006. Like in the universities in Newfoundland and Labrador.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, students, city, graduates with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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