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Writing Samples
Band 5

The table illustrates the proportion of monthly household income five European countries spend on food and drink, housing, clothing and entertainment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table illustrates the proportion of monthly household income five European countries spend on food and drink, housing, clothing and entertainment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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Information about how much of the average income in five countries is spent on four basic needs is presented in a table in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, in all countries
quarter
Correct article usage
a quarter
show examples
 or more of the average salary goes for food,
while
Linking Words
 in general people in all places spend the least on clothes and
entertainment
Use synonyms
.
Turkey
Use synonyms
 and
Spain
Use synonyms
 are the only places, where their citizens spend less than 30% of their income
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 housing - 20% in
Turkey
Use synonyms
 and 2% less than that in
Spain
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, 36% of a person's earnings in
Turkey
Use synonyms
 and just above 30% in
Spain
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, everywhere else the numbers for housing are above thirty going up to
thirty seven
Add a hyphen
thirty-seven
show examples
 per cent. ,
Also
Linking Words
 the values for food are the same as the housing prices but 10% lower. The UK and
Turkey
Use synonyms
 surprisingly have similar values for
spendings
Correct your spelling
spending
show examples
 on clothing and
entertainment
Use synonyms
 - all around 10%. Germany's citizens spend 15% of their earnings on clothes and almost 20% on
entertainment
Use synonyms
, drastically more than other nations. In France, only 7% of somebody's earnings go for clothes and around 13% for
entertainment
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, In
Use synonyms
Spain
Add a comma
,Spain
show examples
 the numbers are similar to
France's
Change preposition
in France's
show examples
 just slightly higher.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words entertainment, turkey, spain with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion of monthly household income
  • illustrates
  • cost of living
  • prioritization
  • balanced distribution
  • cultural emphasis
  • significant portion
  • reflects lifestyle
  • economic emphasis
  • category
  • allocate
  • notable amount
  • consumption pattern
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