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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The Charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The Charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The diagram illustrates the amount of each
hundreds
Change to a singular noun
hundred
show examples
 of
water
Use synonyms
 in Six areas of the globe for various needs.
Overall
Linking Words
, the graph describes the purposes of
water
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as industrial, Agricultural, and Domestic Use
while
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 describing the variation of use among all
continent
Fix the agreement mistake
continents
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
, agriculture is one the most
water
Use synonyms
-consuming sectors in all areas and
also
Linking Words
 in most of the
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the world. In ,addition more than two-thirds of
water
Use synonyms
needs
Wrong verb form
is needed
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 for the growing of seeds except
North
Change preposition
in North
show examples
 America and Europe.
For instance
Linking Words
, Central Asia in 88%, Africa in 84%, South East Asia in 81% and South America in 71%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, among remaining two are industrial dominant as like North America is about 48%
while
Linking Words
 Europe is 53%. Correspondingly Remaining parts have a common behaviour of more use
Use synonyms
water
Change preposition
of water
show examples
 in comparison to
Industrial
Correct article usage
the Industrial
show examples
 except the Southern part of Asia.
Linking Words
Additionally
Add a comma
,Additionally
show examples
 all of the other four
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
show examples
 has lower economic activity and households.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the
uses
Change the noun form
use
show examples
Use synonyms
water
Change preposition
of water
show examples
 is not the same percentage in all areas in the world and has significant differences based on their geographic location and economic condition.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • water consumption
  • agricultural, industrial, domestic
  • usage patterns
  • developed vs developing regions
  • irrigation systems
  • climate factors
  • percentage breakdown
  • water management
  • sustainability
  • residential water use
  • efficiency
  • charts comparison
  • water-intensive
  • water scarcity
  • resource allocation
  • desalination
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