In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

#times #children #time #families #friends #change #parents #force #home

It is true that

children

are spending more

time

with their friends than with their families in present-day society. In

this

essay, I will explain why

this

has happened and I completely believe that

parents

should not force their offspring to spend more

time

at home. There are, I feel, two main reasons.

Firstly

, the proliferation of social media provides an excellent platform for

children

to interact with each other.

For example

, Facebook, which is a renowned social networking website, offers a platform for people to connect with each other all the

time

, enabling

children

to contact their peers just with a click of the mouse, and

this

results in them spending more

time

with their friends.

Secondly

children

can find emotional support from their peers more than their

parents

. When

children

in similar age, they usually face the same problems and can gain deeper insight into the same situation, in turn encouraging them to share and find solutions together. What

this

does is make it absolutely beneficial.

However

, I totally agree that

parents

should not ask their

children

to stay home just by ordering. One reason is that if

parents

force them to do so, they may well turn into resentment. My nephew Tom,

for instance

, was forced to stay home on Saturday every week when he was about 15. As

such

, he felt angry with

this

and rebelled against his

parents

at about 18, which is why denying

children

’s freedom leads to an adverse result. Another reason is there are many other ways to persuade

children

to spend more

time

with families. If

parents

spend quality

time

with their

children

, they can feel the emotion and appreciate that, and

this

allows them to build up a more bond and long-lasting relationship with each other and is incredibly crucial. In conclusion, the reasons why

children

tend to spend more

time

with their friends than their families are clear, and I believe that there are many other ways that

parents

can encourage their

children

to spend

time

with them as I mentioned above.

Submitted by 15219169 on Sat Sep 09 2023

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task response

Address the prompt more directly and provide a more balanced argument.

coherence cohesion

The introduction does not effectively set up the essay, and the conclusion could be more conclusive.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

343 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Academic commitments
Extracurricular activities
Technology and social media
Peer acceptance
Independence
Family dynamics
Cultural norms
Individualism
Parental enforcement
Family bonds
Social development
Autonomy versus guidance

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