In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

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It is true that
children
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are spending more
time
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with their friends than with their families in present-day society. In
this
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essay, I will explain why
this
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has happened and I completely believe that
parents
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should not force their offspring to spend more
time
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at home. There are, I feel, two main reasons.
Firstly
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, the proliferation of social media provides an excellent platform for
children
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to interact with each other.
For example
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, Facebook, which is a renowned social networking website, offers a platform for people to connect with each other all the
time
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, enabling
children
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to contact their peers just with a click of the mouse, and
this
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results in them spending more
time
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with their friends.
Secondly
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,
children
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can find emotional support from their peers more than their
parents
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. When
children
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in similar age, they usually face the same problems and can gain deeper insight into the same situation, in turn encouraging them to share and find solutions together. What
this
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does is make it absolutely beneficial.
However
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, I totally agree that
parents
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should not ask their
children
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to stay home just by ordering. One reason is that if
parents
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force them to do so, they may well turn into resentment. My nephew Tom,
for instance
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, was forced to stay home on Saturday every week when he was about 15. As
such
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, he felt angry with
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and rebelled against his
parents
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at about 18, which is why denying
children
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’s freedom leads to an adverse result. Another reason is there are many other ways to persuade
children
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to spend more
time
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with families. If
parents
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spend quality
time
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with their
children
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, they can feel the emotion and appreciate that, and
this
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allows them to build up a more bond and long-lasting relationship with each other and is incredibly crucial. In conclusion, the reasons why
children
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tend to spend more
time
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with their friends than their families are clear, and I believe that there are many other ways that
parents
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can encourage their
children
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to spend
time
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with them as I mentioned above.
Submitted by 15219169 on

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task response
Address the prompt more directly and provide a more balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction does not effectively set up the essay, and the conclusion could be more conclusive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic commitments
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Technology and social media
  • Peer acceptance
  • Independence
  • Family dynamics
  • Cultural norms
  • Individualism
  • Parental enforcement
  • Family bonds
  • Social development
  • Autonomy versus guidance
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