IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevan

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevan
#line #percentage #tourists #england #four #attractions #brighton #summarise #information #features #comparisons #relevan
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The provided chart depicts the proportion of
tourists
Use synonyms
 who came to England to visit 4 tourist destinations in
Brigton
Correct your spelling
Brighton
 from 1980 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
 , the proportion of
tourists
Use synonyms
 who visited the Pavillion and Pier increased
while
Linking Words
 visiting art galleries significantly lost
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 popularity over the years.
Use synonyms
Tourists
Change noun form
Tourists'
Tourist's
show examples
 attraction
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
pavilion
Correct article usage
the pavilion
show examples
 saw a dramatic increase from just over 20% in 1980 to just below 50% in 1995 before experiencing a significant decline in 2000 at 35%. The numbers
then
Linking Words
 fluctuated between 35% to 30% until the end of the period.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 significant decrease in
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 visiting art galleries was evident. Nearly 25% of
tourists
Use synonyms
 in 1980 rocketed to more than 35% in the next five years and experienced a sudden drop to just below 20% in 1990 before decreasing gradually to just below 10% in 2010. Numbers for visiting Pier hovered nearly at 10% until 2000 and doubled its value within the next decade at just above 20%. Despite minor fluctuations,
tourists
Use synonyms
' participation in festivals remained relatively stable throughout the year
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between 25% to 30%.
Submitted by nir.paba6 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: