IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph compares employment rates in three sectors of the economy, in the UK, 2000-2010, summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The graph compares employment rates in three sectors of the economy, in the UK, 2000-2010, summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph provides information about the comparison between the three
sectors
Use synonyms
 in the UK in terms of employee rates from 2000 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, except for the private
sector
Use synonyms
, all
sectors
Use synonyms
 of employment increased over the decade.
However
Linking Words
, the private
sector
Use synonyms
 saw a significant decline compared with all other
sectors
Use synonyms
. At the beginning of the period, the
number
Use synonyms
 of employees in the private
sector
Use synonyms
 remained the highest until 2003, when it ranged from around 48 to 40, respectively.
This
Linking Words
 downward slope continued until the year 2010, reaching about 20 employees and
therefore
Linking Words
 placing
this
Linking Words
sector
Use synonyms
last
Linking Words
 of all others.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the public
sector
Use synonyms
 had steady figures from 2000 to 2002 of approximately 39 workers,
then
Linking Words
 saw a gradual increase from 2003 to 2005 ranging from 40 to 50, respectively. Except for a small dip in 2006, public employees reached a peak of over 50
at the end
Linking Words
 of the era, topping the two other
sectors
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of self-employed people in the UK hovered over a decade. In 2001, there were only around 18 in
this
Linking Words
sector
Use synonyms
, but they reached about 30 in the
last
Linking Words
 year. Despite the slight decrease in
number
Use synonyms
 between 2002 and 2005, with roughly 17 self-employed as the lowest
number
Use synonyms
,

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sectors, sector, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: