The graph compares employment rates in three sectors of the economy, in the UK, 2000-2010, summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The line graph provides information about the comparison between the three
sectors
in the UK in terms of employee rates from 2000 to 2010.
Overall
, except for the private sector
, all sectors
of employment increased over the decade. However
, the private sector
saw a significant decline compared with all other sectors
.
At the beginning of the period, the number
of employees in the private sector
remained the highest until 2003, when it ranged from around 48 to 40, respectively. This
downward slope continued until the year 2010, reaching about 20 employees and therefore
placing this
sector
last
of all others.
On the other hand
, the public sector
had steady figures from 2000 to 2002 of approximately 39 workers, then
saw a gradual increase from 2003 to 2005 ranging from 40 to 50, respectively. Except for a small dip in 2006, public employees reached a peak of over 50 at the end
of the era, topping the two other sectors
.
Finally
, the number
of self-employed people in the UK hovered over a decade. In 2001, there were only around 18 in this
sector
, but they reached about 30 in the last
year. Despite the slight decrease in number
between 2002 and 2005, with roughly 17 self-employed as the lowest number
,Submitted by mjdf0930 on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sectors, sector, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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