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Writing Samples
Band 3

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors - agriculture, manifacturing, business and financial services - to the UK economy in the twentieth century

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors - agriculture, manifacturing, business and financial services - to the UK economy in the twentieth century
#contribution #three #sectors #agriculture #business #services #uk #economy #century
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The picture illustrates the impact of three
sectors
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to
Change preposition
on
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 the
UK
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economy
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 in
twentieth
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the twentieth
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 century. Regarding the picture, the highest percentage
affect
Wrong verb form
affecting
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Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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economy
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 is in 1950, which
approximately
Add a missing verb
is approximately
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 100% in total from
three
Correct article usage
the three
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sectors
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. The lowest percentage from all
sectors
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affect
Wrong verb form
affected
show examples
UK
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economy
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 is in 2000. It is up to 46% in total, which is
agriculture
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 accounts for 2%, manufacturing 13%, business and financial 31%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that in 1990
agriculture
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has
Wrong verb form
had
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higher
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a higher
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 contribution
that
Correct word choice
than
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 other
sectors
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.
Agriculture
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 contributed to approximately 49%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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economy
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.
However
Linking Words
, in
the
Change the article
apply
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2000 the contribution of
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Correct article usage
the agriculture
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agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
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 sector
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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economy
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was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased dramatically to 2%.
Manufacturing
Correct article usage
The manufacturing
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 sector shows
downward
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a downward
the downward
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 trend
to contribute
Verb problem
in the
show examples
UK
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economy
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start
Wrong verb form
starting
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 from 1900 to 2000.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
business
Correct article usage
the business
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 and financial sector has increased dramatically to contribute
UK
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economy
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 field from 1900 to 2000.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sectors, uk, economy, agriculture with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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