The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors - agriculture, manifacturing, business and financial services - to the UK economy in the twentieth century

#contribution #three #sectors #agriculture #business #services #uk #economy #century

The picture illustrates the impact of three

sectors

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show examples

the

economy

twentieth

Change the article

the twentieth

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century. Regarding the picture, the highest percentage

affect

Wrong verb form

affecting

show examples

Correct article usage

the UK

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economy

is in 1950, which

approximately

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is approximately

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100% in total from

three

Correct article usage

the three

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sectors

. The lowest percentage from all

sectors

affect

Wrong verb form

affected

show examples

economy

is in 2000. It is up to 46% in total, which is

agriculture

accounts for 2%, manufacturing 13%, business and financial 31%.

Furthermore

, it can be clearly seen that in 1990

agriculture

has

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

higher

Add an article

a higher

show examples

contribution

that

Correct word choice

than

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other

sectors

Agriculture

contributed to approximately 49%

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

the UK

show examples

economy

However

, in

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

2000 the contribution of

Correct article usage

the agriculture

show examples

agriculture

Replace the word

agricultural

show examples

sector

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

the UK

show examples

economy

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

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decreased dramatically to 2%.

Manufacturing

Correct article usage

The manufacturing

show examples

sector shows

downward

Add an article

a downward

the downward

show examples

trend

to contribute

Verb problem

in the

show examples

economy

start

Wrong verb form

starting

show examples

from 1900 to 2000.

In contrast

business

Correct article usage

the business

show examples

and financial sector has increased dramatically to contribute

economy

field from 1900 to 2000.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Wed Sep 20 2023

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sectors, uk, economy, agriculture with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

139 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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