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Writing Samples /
Band 3

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors - agriculture, manifacturing, business and financial services - to the UK economy in the twentieth century

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors - agriculture, manifacturing, business and financial services - to the UK economy in the twentieth century
#contribution #three #sectors #agriculture #business #services #uk #economy #century
The picture illustrates the impact of three
sectors
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
UK
economy
 in
twentieth
Change the article
the twentieth
show examples
 century. Regarding the picture, the highest percentage
affect
Wrong verb form
affecting
show examples
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
economy
 is in 1950, which
approximately
Add a missing verb
is approximately
show examples
 100% in total from
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
sectors
. The lowest percentage from all
sectors
affect
Wrong verb form
affected
show examples
UK
economy
 is in 2000. It is up to 46% in total, which is
agriculture
 accounts for 2%, manufacturing 13%, business and financial 31%.
Furthermore
, it can be clearly seen that in 1990
agriculture
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 contribution
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 other
sectors
.
Agriculture
 contributed to approximately 49%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
economy
.
However
, in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2000 the contribution of
Correct article usage
the agriculture
show examples
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
 sector
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
economy
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased dramatically to 2%.
Manufacturing
Correct article usage
The manufacturing
show examples
 sector shows
downward
Add an article
a downward
the downward
show examples
 trend
to contribute
Verb problem
in the
show examples
UK
economy
start
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 from 1900 to 2000.
In contrast
,
business
Correct article usage
the business
show examples
 and financial sector has increased dramatically to contribute
UK
economy
 field from 1900 to 2000.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sectors, uk, economy, agriculture with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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