A good friend has just changed schools and is having difficulty fitting in and needs your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • make suggestions as to how they could make friends • suggest joining clubs, participating in school activities • give any extra general advice

#friend #schools #difficulty #advice #suggestions #friends #clubs #school #activities

Dear John, I am glad to hear that you joined

Change preposition

apply

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Saint Peter's

School

Although

you

are left

Wrong verb form

leave

show examples

the

school

in a short time,

it's

Unnecessary verb

show examples

feel

Correct subject-verb agreement

feels

show examples

much longer. It is usual that you might feel discomfort for

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

days after joining a new

school

. You should make new friends there which will help you recover from

home sick

Correct your spelling

homesick

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also

. Try to walk after

school

with your classmates or just invite them for a coffee which will help you to

bel

Correct your spelling

show examples

with

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show examples

them. I heard your new

school

have a good football team. As you are the best player in the

last

inter

Add a hyphen

inter-school

show examples

school

match, try to join the team. Film club

also

Add a missing verb

is also

show examples

a good option for you, and try to touch with

student's

Correct article usage

the student's

show examples

union office, they might lead you

further

. The library is

also

very useful in the

school

. You should ask your tutor to obtain a library card which will help you to get special

discount

Fix the agreement mistake

discounts

show examples

from the shops

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

campus. If you need

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apply

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any

further

ssupport

Correct your spelling

support

, just dial

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apply

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my mom's number after 5 in the evening.

Warn

Correct your spelling

Warm

show examples

regards Jennifer

Submitted by ck.manshad on Mon Sep 25 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph contains a single, clear idea. The second paragraph attempts to cover multiple suggestions which reduces clarity.

coherence cohesion

Greeting and closing are present, but could be improved in terms of personal engagement and warmth.

task achievement

Response to the task is adequate. However, try to develop your points more fully to enhance the advice given.

task achievement

The tone is generally suitable and friendly, but try to use varied sentence structures to make the letter sound more natural.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

185 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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A good friend has just changed schools and is having difficulty fitting in and needs your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • make suggestions as to how they could make friends • suggest joining clubs, participating in school activities • give any extra general advice

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Social media helps people to keep in touch with friends and stay on top of news and events. Do you think the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Eventually, technology will solve the most important environmental problems the world faces today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Communication through text messaging and other instant forms of online communication are short and basic. Some people think this will be the death of grammar and spelling. To what extent do you agree or disagree?