A good friend has just changed schools and is having difficulty fitting in and needs your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • make suggestions as to how they could make friends • suggest joining clubs, participating in school activities • give any extra general advice

Dear John, I am glad to hear that you joined
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Saint Peter's
School
.
Although
you
are left
Wrong verb form
leave
show examples
the
school
in a short time,
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
feel
Correct subject-verb agreement
feels
show examples
much longer. It is usual that you might feel discomfort for
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
days after joining a new
school
. You should make new friends there which will help you recover from
home sick
Correct your spelling
homesick
show examples
also
. Try to walk after
school
with your classmates or just invite them for a coffee which will help you to
bel
Correct your spelling
be
show examples
close
with
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to
show examples
them. I heard your new
school
have a good football team. As you are the best player in the
last
inter
Add a hyphen
inter-school
show examples
school
match, try to join the team. Film club
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
a good option for you, and try to touch with
student's
Correct article usage
the student's
show examples
union office, they might lead you
further
. The library is
also
very useful in the
school
. You should ask your tutor to obtain a library card which will help you to get special
discount
Fix the agreement mistake
discounts
show examples
from the shops
in
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on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
campus. If you need
to
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apply
show examples
any
further
ssupport
Correct your spelling
support
, just dial
to
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apply
show examples
my mom's number after 5 in the evening.
Warn
Correct your spelling
Warm
show examples
regards Jennifer
Submitted by ck.manshad on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a single, clear idea. The second paragraph attempts to cover multiple suggestions which reduces clarity.
coherence cohesion
Greeting and closing are present, but could be improved in terms of personal engagement and warmth.
task achievement
Response to the task is adequate. However, try to develop your points more fully to enhance the advice given.
task achievement
The tone is generally suitable and friendly, but try to use varied sentence structures to make the letter sound more natural.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • introduce yourself
  • genuine interest
  • rapport
  • like-minded individuals
  • school community
  • volunteer
  • open-minded
  • comfort zone
  • casual setting
  • hobbies and activities
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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