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Band 4.5

Some people think that employers should ensure a pleasant working environment so that workers band feel valued and will therefore work hard. Others feel that employers should be stricter with employees and monitor them closely to ensure they work hard. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #employers #environment #workers #band #work #employees
In
this
 dynamic era,there is a hot debate on ensuring the environment for
staff
.A
segmentof
Correct your spelling
segment of
 society
reckon
Change the verb form
reckons
show examples
 that administrators should ensure friendly working surroundings, others enterperinours
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
 that
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ensuring strict surroundings can
boast
Correct your spelling
boost
show examples
 employers working capability.As far as my opinion is concerned, I would prefer a challenging environment for
staff
.
To begin
 with,proponents of the first idea believed that cooperation should confirm satisfying
conditions
 to
staff
 for their personal comfort.As
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it is assumed that providing agreeable
conditions
 enlarges
overall
 cooperation efficiencies.
Furthermore
, allowing pleasant habitat makes home
conditions
, where workers try their best to work hard for their administrations. To illustrate, the revealed truth behind Amazon's success is they are providing pleasurable
conditions
 to their operators.
On the other hand
, other enterperinours believed that promising severe
conditions
 can increase member of
staff
 work. Giving daily talks, and targets improves
staff
 focus on their work which would increase their capability efforts, and
as a result
, more outcomes will come.
Additionally
, they will not waste time
while
 working hours it can
also
 make
staff
 punctual, cooperative and hard worker.
For instance
, an experiment was done by neuroscientists who assumed that ensuring challenges to the human brain can provide righteous
conditions
 to master the art of pressure handling, focusing and working smart.   To summarise, the issue of working habitat for working always disputes various debates.Both ideas have valid constructive effects
however
, providing challenge can increase
overall
 workers' performance.
Submitted by notkhan01 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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