IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The chart below shows the percentage of males and females with higher education qualifications in five countries in 2001.

The chart below shows the percentage of males and females with higher education qualifications in five countries in 2001.
#percentage #males #females #education #qualifications #five #countries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram demonstrates to us the percentage of
men
Use synonyms
 and women with higher educational
Use synonyms
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
 in five countries in 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
, in
Switzerland
Add a comma
,Switzerland
show examples
males
Change the noun form
male
show examples
 percentage is the highest among
men
Use synonyms
around
Change preposition
in
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 five countries,
whereas
Linking Words
 with the similar 45
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
females
Change preposition
of females
show examples
 with
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
 score occupied in Germany. In Japan among both gender education
qualification
Use synonyms
 is the lowest with females 25 and males 30
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in Britain women
the
Add a missing verb
are the
show examples
 next
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 low educational
Use synonyms
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
,
Linking Words
Correct word choice
and
show examples
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
Use synonyms
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
 result is average if dating
all
Change preposition
in all
show examples
 countries with 35
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Next is
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 average
men
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 and almost
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 with
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 result
Change preposition
at
show examples
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 40
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 Switzerland and Germany are equal if account
Change preposition
for humans
show examples
humans
Change noun form
humans'
human's
show examples
 highest educational
qualification
Use synonyms
, since Switzerland's males and
femals
Correct your spelling
females
female
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 are 35 and 45 respectively, meanwhile Germany's progress
oppositely
Change the word
opposite
show examples
.
Submitted by aikumarbekarys on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, qualification, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: