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Writing Samples
Band 5

Do the dangerous derived from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweigh the advantages

#chemicals #food #production #preservation
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Most of the
foods
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 are transported long distances from
food
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 production
centers
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centres
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 to supermarkets
to
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apply
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and in order to preserve all the freshness of
foods
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,
those
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they
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 are handled with different
chemicals
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 that can be harmful
for
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to
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human's
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human
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 health.
However
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, in my
opinion
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opinion,
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 the advantages of
such
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chemicals
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 overweight the disadvantages of using them. The biggest fear of
people
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 when it comes to fruits and vegetables that are processed with
chemicals
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, is that they can create difficulties in
digestive
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the digestive
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 system
as well as
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cause
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diarrhia
Correct your spelling
diarrhoea
. These concerns can be true when
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 excessive amount of those
chemicals
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 end up in
people
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's bodies. It can even
cause
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 problems in children's development, if a dangerous chemical is contained in their
food
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, especially in ready-made purees for babies. When consumed in
big
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large
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 proportions, these
chemicals
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 that are only meant to preserve the
foods
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 when transported
,
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apply
show examples
 can
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cause
Verb problem
apply
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indeed
Add a missing verb
be serious
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serious
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seriously
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 dangerous for our health.
Nevertheless
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, in my opinion, all of the fresh ingredients can be peeled and left with the
serfice
Correct your spelling
service
that is
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 untouched
with
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by
show examples
chemicals
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, which
then
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 becomes safer to consume. If
people
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 want to have fresh ingredients that contain all the
necessery
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necessary
 nutrients and vitamins even after long
transportations
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transportation
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of
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apply
show examples
those
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, all the
chemicals
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 used in
food
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 production
as well as
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 preservation, are beneficial. Without these
chemicals
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, the
life-span
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lifespan
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 of
food
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 becomes shorter resulting in a lot of
food
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 waste across the globe, which will
cause
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 environmental problems
of
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in
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 the area and
becomes
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become
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 economically unsustainable.
To conclude
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,
although
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 the
dangerous
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dangers
show examples
 derived from the use of
chemicals
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 should not be
ingnored
Correct your spelling
ignored
, in my opinion, their usage helps to preserve
foods
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 in a fresh state for longer periods of time keeping them
nutricious
Correct your spelling
nutritious
 and beneficial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
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.
However
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,
people
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 should start peeling
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fruits and vegetables in order to minimize the amount
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chemicals
Change preposition
of chemicals
show examples
ending
Wrong verb form
that end
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 up in their bodies.
Submitted by katja.otavina on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Health risks
  • Chemically treated
  • Allergies
  • Resistance to antibiotics
  • Environmental impact
  • Chemical runoff
  • Water pollution
  • Nutritional value
  • Crop yields
  • Shelf life
  • Pests and diseases
  • Regulatory bodies
  • Stricter regulations
  • Public health
  • Environmental integrity
  • Technological advancements
  • Safer alternatives
What to do next:
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