IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram shows and illustrate about the cement production and how cement is used to produce concrete for construction of new buildings. Production of cement using an apparatus by mixing a materials, through the mixer and it made as powder, finally accumulates as a cement further packed in a bags, whereas concrete production made by four materials through a concrete mixer. Clay and limestone crushed as a powder by the crusher and by used as a mixer, the fine particles send to the rotating heater and heat the substances. In addition bags of cement was produced by the grinder. The four materials such as cement (15%), water (10%), sand (25%), and small stones (50%) plays a major role in the production of concrete with a help of concrete mixer apparatus.

The diagram shows and illustrate about the cement production and how cement is used to produce concrete for construction of new buildings. Production of cement using an apparatus by mixing a materials, through the mixer and it made as powder, finally accumulates as a cement further packed in a bags, whereas concrete production made by four materials through a concrete mixer. Clay and limestone crushed as a powder by the crusher and by used as a mixer, the fine particles send to the rotating heater and heat the substances. In addition bags of cement was produced by the grinder. The four materials such as cement (15%), water (10%), sand (25%), and small stones (50%) plays a major role in the production of concrete with a help of concrete mixer apparatus.
The diagram shows and
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cement
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 and how
cement
Use synonyms
 is used to produce concrete for
construction
Add an article
the construction
show examples
 of new buildings.
Production
Use synonyms
 of
cement
Use synonyms
 using an apparatus by mixing
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
materials, through the
mixer
Use synonyms
 and it
made
Add a missing verb
is made
show examples
 as powder,
Linking Words
finally
Correct pronoun usage
which finally
show examples
 accumulates as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cement
Use synonyms
further
Linking Words
 packed in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bags,
whereas
Linking Words
 concrete
production
Use synonyms
made
Add a missing verb
is made
show examples
 by four materials through a concrete
mixer
Use synonyms
. Clay and limestone
crushed
Add a missing verb
are crushed
show examples
 as a powder by the crusher and
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
used as a
mixer
Use synonyms
, the fine particles
send
Wrong verb form
are sent
show examples
 to the rotating heater and heat the substances.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 bags of
cement
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 produced by the grinder. The four materials
such
Linking Words
 as
cement
Use synonyms
 (15%), water (10%), sand (25%), and small stones (50%)
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
 a major role in the
production
Use synonyms
 of concrete with
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 help of concrete
mixer
Use synonyms
 apparatus.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cement, production, mixer with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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