IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram shows and illustrates cement construction and how plaster is used to produce concrete for the construction of new buildings. A manufacturing of cement using an apparatus by mixing materials, through the food processor and it is made as powder, which finally accumulates as cement further packed in bags, whereas concrete production is made by four materials through a concrete mixer. Clay and limestone are crushed as a powder by the crusher and used as a mixer, the fine particles are sent to the rotating heater and heat the substances. In addition, bags of cement were produced by the grinder. The four materials such as cement (15%), water (10%), sand (25%), and small stones (50%) play a major role in the production of concrete with the help of concrete mixer apparatus.

The diagram shows and illustrates cement construction and how plaster is used to produce concrete for the construction of new buildings. A manufacturing of cement using an apparatus by mixing materials, through the food processor and it is made as powder, which finally accumulates as cement further packed in bags, whereas concrete production is made by four materials through a concrete mixer. Clay and limestone are crushed as a powder by the crusher and used as a mixer, the fine particles are sent to the rotating heater and heat the substances. In addition, bags of cement were produced by the grinder. The four materials such as cement (15%), water (10%), sand (25%), and small stones (50%) play a major role in the production of concrete with the help of concrete mixer apparatus.
The diagram shows and illustrates
cement
Use synonyms
 construction and how plaster is used to produce concrete for the construction of new buildings.
A
Correct article usage
The
show examples
 manufacturing of
cement
Use synonyms
using
Wrong verb form
uses
show examples
 an apparatus by
mixing
Wrong verb form
mixes
show examples
materials, through
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 food processor and it is made as powder, which
finally
Linking Words
 accumulates as
cement
Use synonyms
further
Linking Words
 packed in bags,
whereas
Linking Words
 concrete production is made by four materials through a concrete mixer. Clay and limestone are crushed as a powder by the crusher and used as a mixer, the fine particles are sent to the rotating heater and heat the substances.
In addition
Linking Words
, bags of
cement
Use synonyms
 were produced by the grinder. The four materials
such
Linking Words
 as
cement
Use synonyms
 (15%), water (10%), sand (25%), and small stones (50%) play a major role in the production of concrete with the help of
concrete
Correct article usage
the concrete
show examples
 mixer apparatus.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cement with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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