IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Most high level positions in companies are filled by men even though the work space in many developed countries is more than 50% female. Companies should be require to allocate a certain percentage of these position to women. Do you agree?

#level #positions #companies #men #work #space #countries #percentage #position #women
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Major
posts
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 of the firms
working
Verb problem
apply
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are men though in developed nations are
Correct article usage
a
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 high rate of
women
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 employees.
However
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 , the question is
about
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apply
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whether multinational
sectors
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 should enhance the level of
posts
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 to
females
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 . It is a good way to give more jobs to the female worker because she has the ability to perform multitasking and is well organised in the contemporary era.
This
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 essay will elaborate on both perspectives in the upcoming paragraphs. The majority of the
women
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 work in the home and do jobs at the same time.
For instance
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 , in my city ladies work at the house
and
Correct word choice
apply
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take care of their children
also
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goes
Correct subject-verb agreement
go
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 to the workplace.
Women
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 have the quality to perform a difficult task.
Furthermore
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 , she learned education for her interests and got good grades to enhance her skills. Industrial
sectors
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 should increase the level of positions for female workers. A few men believe that
women
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 have the weaker gender they cannot handle high-level
posts
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 so a maximum number of companies have not allocated extra seats for
females
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 .
Therefore
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 , many
sectors
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 filled their higher positions with males. It should be reduced to give them a chance merely to them. They might consider filling girls on these levels as
women
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 employees can give their best for corporate
sectors
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 .
To sum up
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 , in the modern era foreign countries are focusing on
females
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 hiring more. Because they are part of the society and they can
also
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 play a vital role in the corporation. In my opinion, the corporate level could increase the appointment of
females
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 to immense
posts
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as a result
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 she can provide a good outcome in the future.
Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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