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Band 4

High salary is much more important than job satisfaction. To what extent do you agree/disagree with this?

#salary #job #satisfaction
It is often argued that it is advantageous to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
choose a
job
 with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 salary even if it doesn’t appeal
you
Change preposition
to you
show examples
. I completely disagree with
this
 opinion and I believe that
Job
satisfaction
 is more essential than
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 salary.
Firstly
,
job
satisfaction
 gives you a
sense
 of
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
 and motivation.
In other
words
Add a comma
words,
show examples
 people tend to
work
 for hours and hours without feeling a
sense
 of
satisfaction
 which will ultimately create a
sense
 of frustration and a feeling of useless
work
.
As people
Correct word choice
People
show examples
 tend to compromise their
satisfaction
 so that person can’t enjoy their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 many researchers don’t choose their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 based on high wages
rather
Correct word choice
but rather
show examples
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
 interest in the field of research.
Therefore
 it is important to choose
work
 that makes you happy
instead
 of better salaries.
Secondly
,
Job
satisfaction
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to
career
 growth as people tend to put
Change preposition
in efforts
show examples
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
 and
work
 for extended hours to create a better skill set and
work
 on their weaknesses regardless of time.
However
, high salaried
job
 will only ensure the
work
 is being done
instead
 of
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
 on
Quality
Correct article usage
the Quality
show examples
/ quantity of
work
.
For example
,
henry miller
Correct your spelling
Henry Miller
show examples
 left his
high paid
Add a hyphen
high-paid
show examples
job
 to focus on his passion for writing and eventually after many ups and downs he became the best writer of
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
show examples
 century.
Hence
 choosing a
career
 that interests you and gives you
satisfaction
 ensures better
career
 growth. To summarize, I
Strongly
Fix capitalization
strongly
show examples
 believe that
job
satisfaction
 is much
important
Correct quantifier usage
more important
show examples
 than
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 salary because it leads a person to feel a
sense
 of
satisfaction
along with
increases
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 avenues for
career
 growth.
Submitted by ieltsexpert185 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: