IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

High salary is much more important than job satisfaction. To what extent do you agree/disagree with this?

#salary #job #satisfaction
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It is often argued that it is advantageous to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
choose a
job
Use synonyms
 with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 salary even if it doesn’t appeal
you
Change preposition
to you
show examples
. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion and I believe that
Job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 is more essential than
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 salary.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 gives you a
sense
Use synonyms
 of
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
 and motivation.
In other
Linking Words
words
Add a comma
words,
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 people tend to
work
Use synonyms
 for hours and hours without feeling a
sense
Use synonyms
 of
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 which will ultimately create a
sense
Use synonyms
 of frustration and a feeling of useless
work
Use synonyms
.
As people
Correct word choice
People
show examples
 tend to compromise their
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 so that person can’t enjoy their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 many researchers don’t choose their
Use synonyms
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 based on high wages
rather
Correct word choice
but rather
show examples
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
 interest in the field of research.
Therefore
Linking Words
 it is important to choose
work
Use synonyms
 that makes you happy
instead
Linking Words
 of better salaries.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to
career
Use synonyms
 growth as people tend to put
Change preposition
in efforts
show examples
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
 and
work
Use synonyms
 for extended hours to create a better skill set and
work
Use synonyms
 on their weaknesses regardless of time.
However
Linking Words
, high salaried
job
Use synonyms
 will only ensure the
work
Use synonyms
 is being done
instead
Linking Words
 of
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
 on
Quality
Correct article usage
the Quality
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/ quantity of
work
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
henry miller
Correct your spelling
Henry Miller
show examples
 left his
high paid
Add a hyphen
high-paid
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 to focus on his passion for writing and eventually after many ups and downs he became the best writer of
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
show examples
 century.
Hence
Linking Words
 choosing a
career
Use synonyms
 that interests you and gives you
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 ensures better
career
Use synonyms
 growth. To summarize, I
Strongly
Fix capitalization
strongly
show examples
 believe that
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 is much
important
Correct quantifier usage
more important
show examples
 than
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 salary because it leads a person to feel a
sense
Use synonyms
 of
satisfaction
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
increases
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 avenues for
career
Use synonyms
 growth.
Submitted by ieltsexpert185 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: