IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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These diagrams illustrate the
silkworm
Use synonyms
 life
stages
Use synonyms
 and the whole process of producing clothes made of
Silk
Use synonyms
. We can see here four certain
Stages
Use synonyms
 from egg hatching to
birth
Correct article usage
the birth
show examples
 of an adult
silkworm
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, there are five
stages
Use synonyms
 to make clothes from
silk
Use synonyms
. In the first stage, It takes 10 days to get
silkworm
Use synonyms
 larvas from the eggs. All of these larvas take mulberry leaf as their food.
Secondly
Linking Words
, 4-6 weeks are needed to
being made
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 the
silk
Use synonyms
 thread on the outer part of the body of the
silkworm
Use synonyms
 larva.
Next,
Linking Words
Use synonyms
cocoon
Fix the agreement mistake
cocoons
show examples
 are got after 3-6 days. At the final stage, It takes 16 days to
born
Add a missing verb
be born
show examples
 an adult
silkworm
Use synonyms
 from the
cocoon
Use synonyms
. Silkworms lay eggs by their mouth. Later, the same process
continue
Change the verb form
continues
show examples
 again and again
with
Change preposition
within
show examples
 a selected time frame. In the
producing
Replace the word
production
show examples
 of
silk
Use synonyms
 cloth.
Firstly
Linking Words
, we have to select the perfect
cocoon
Use synonyms
 to boil those
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the water. After boiling, the
cocoon
Use synonyms
are being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 unwind and the length of
thread
Correct article usage
the thread
show examples
 is 300-500m. Later, Twisting and weaving take place. For both of the
last
Linking Words
 two
stages
Use synonyms
, dying is the final part and the end of the whole procedure.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words silkworm, stages, silk, cocoon with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Silkworm
  • Larva
  • Cocoon
  • Moth
  • Mulberry leaves
  • Caterpillar
  • Pupa stage
  • Silk thread
  • Cycle
  • Harvested cocoons
  • Boiled
  • Unwound
  • Spun
  • Woven
  • Dyeing
  • Silk cloth production
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