The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

#show #percentage #time #adults #activities #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The

piechart

Correct your spelling

pie chart

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represents the average

percent

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per cent

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of an employee's

time

Use synonyms

spwnt

Correct your spelling

spent

on different activities from 1958 to 2008, in a particular country.

Overall

Linking Words

, during the

time

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period of 1958 to 2008, most of the people spent their

time

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in day at work. The least

time

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spent during 1958 is

time

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to travel. In 2008, the less

time

Use synonyms

spent

is for

Verb problem

apply

show examples

going out ( with friends/family) by 6%. In 1958, sleeping was high by 32% compared to the

piechart

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pie chart

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of the year 2008 by 25%. By comparing

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sleep

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

decreased over the period of

time

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which is unhealthy.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, other interests or playing sports was the second least by comparing both the year. Fifty years later, the number of working hours spent by

Change the article

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working employee is increased to 42%. And the activity of relaxing at home was

also

Linking Words

above the percentage level in 1958.

Therefore

Linking Words

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

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of the people spent their day

Change preposition

apply

show examples

working when comparing both the pie

diagram

Fix the agreement mistake

diagrams

show examples

Submitted by insighttribez on Thu Oct 19 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

163 words

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The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

In many countries, men and women are working full-time. It is therefore logical for women and men to share household tasks. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that governments should spend money for faster public transportation, others think that there are other important priorities (e.g. cost, environment). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In today's world, it is private companies rather than government who pay for and carry out most on scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to change our character traits. To what extent do you agree?

some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on piblic trasport systemssuch as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?