IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#value #country #exports #categories #percentage #change #category #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The bar chart illustrates
us
Change preposition
to us
show examples
 the amount of money which have earned from exporting different types of
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
. In fact, we can see a comparison in export earnings between 2015 and 2016.
Also
, there is a table
shows
Correct pronoun usage
that shows
show examples
 us how the value of commodities
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
changed between 2015 and 2016.
Accroding
Correct your spelling
According
 to the bar chart,
due to
 the amount of
exporting
Wrong verb form
exported
show examples
 petroleum products,
this
 country had a big source of petroleum.
Also
,
this
 country
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 had a positive
improve
Replace the word
improvement
show examples
 in engineered
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
.
In addition
, they increased the
amoun
Correct your spelling
amount
 of export in
engineedred
Correct your spelling
engineered
 goods to 60
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
 dollar.
However
, they were not good enough in jewellery export. They face with decreasing amount of that
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 45
billions dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
billion dollars
show examples
 to 40
billions dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
billion dollars
show examples
.
On the other hand
, the table shows us the most increasing values belong to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
textiles and in the second place,
is put
Verb problem
apply
show examples
engineered goods.
Furthermore
, we can see all of the products are increased except
jems
Correct your spelling
gems
nad
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 jewellery. In general,
this
 country is related to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
petroleum products and if something happened
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 facilities, they would be faced with a huge problem in their exporting.
Submitted by Syahyaeefar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • export value
  • economic sector
  • percentage change
  • increment
  • decrement
  • fluctuation
  • trend analysis
  • year-on-year comparison
  • significant growth/decline
  • stagnation
  • market dynamics
  • fiscal repercussions
  • trade balance
  • competitive advantage
What to do next:
Look at other essays: