The table below shows the age profile of tourists on backpacking holidays and guided tours in New Zealand in 2005, and standing next to a pie chart gives the satisfaction rating of their stay.

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The table below shows the
age
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

profile of tourists on backpacking holidays and guided
tours
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in New Zealand in 2005, and standing next to a pie chart gives the satisfaction rating of their stay. As is presented in the table, the
age
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

profile of people, backpacking, and guided
tours
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

percentages
are
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb are appears to be unnecessary here.

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on the different types of holiday
varies
Correct subject-verb agreement
vary

It seems that the verb varies does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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considerably. The vast majority (62%) of people from 18-30 mostly prefer backpacking. Apart
just
Change preposition
from just

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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over an insignificant minority (7%) choose guided
tours
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Nonetheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the number of people
increase
Change the verb form
increases

The verb increase does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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, when the
age
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

profile
go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes

It seems that the verb go does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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up
till
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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41-50, too. It is clear from that, proportion
make
Change the verb form
makes

The plural verb make does not appear to agree with the singular subject proportion. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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up 57% of those who
on
Add a missing verb
are on

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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guided
tours
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, withal, backpacking plunge to exactly a half. The 31-40
age
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

group is almost the same (23% and 22%)
by
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the
Remove the article
apply

It is unlikely that your sentence needs the article the before both. Consider deleting the article.

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both types.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a large proportion (83%) was satisfied, 10% not
enjoyed
Wrong verb form
enjoy

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb enjoyed. Consider changing it.

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their holiday,
7
Correct word choice
and 7

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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%
not
Add a missing verb
were not

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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sure about
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, tours with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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