IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

Nowadays, some employers thought formal academic qualification are more important than life experience and personal qualities when they look for new employees. To what extent do you agree or disagre

#employers #qualification #life #qualities #employees #disagre
In these
Change preposition
These
show examples
 days, hiring employees for the department
have been
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 become a different trend in the market, some hiring managers judge individuals on the basis of their education, whilst, others believe that
hand-on
Correct your spelling
hands-on
show examples
 experience is important. I agree with the latter sentiment to an extreme extent.
This
 essay will shed light on both views.
To begin
 with, in today's society, people believe that ' education is the only key to success',
moreover
, from
generations
Fix the agreement mistake
generation
show examples
 to generations everyone is
following
this
 myth, that's why,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
 early age,
Correct article usage
the parents
show examples
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
 only goal is to admit
child
Add an article
the child
show examples
 in very
hight
Correct your spelling
high
show examples
reputated
Correct your spelling
reputed
 school.
Although
, in recent times, there were some companies, who hired people on the ground basis of their academic credentials.
This
 is
reason
Add an article
the reason
a reason
show examples
,
pupil's
Correct article usage
the pupil's
show examples
 main focus is to get high scores rather than understanding the assignment.
On the other hand
,
Submitted by jsubains123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: