Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary

#salary #job #satisfaction

many people hold, give you that their salary is extremely important

while

choosing a career,

others

Correct word choice

while others

show examples

opine that loving

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

a job is what matters. Personally, I think that it is better to pursue a desirable occupation. Considering that doing

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

desirable work is the key to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

realization, and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

passion

makes

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

. First of

all

Add a comma

all,

show examples

success requires

passion

. As long as one

effectuate

Correct subject-verb agreement

effectuates

show examples

a desirable profession he will be unlike succeeding in it.

Nevertheless

, zeal

does

Verb problem

show examples

not

Verb problem

apply

show examples

at the beginning, it is

finally

worthwhile. Since

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

enthusiasm fuels the desire

Change preposition

for

show examples

progress, and expires T a personal development, which leads to a

favorable

Change the spelling

favourable

show examples

outcome.

For example

, I remember when I

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

turned my talent

you

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

again pain and opened

four seasons

Correct your spelling

Four Seasons

show examples

restaurant are used to start work very late and slept only 2 hours per day. In spite of the fact that it was a very tiring job, I knew really enjoyed it and now my restaurant is one of the most famous

restaurant

Change to a plural noun

restaurants

show examples

in the city. To put

Correct your spelling

show examples

another way

passion

is pivotal to progress.

Secondly

, the past to zeal makes happy. Indeed,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

passion

does

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not only plugs into

dependable

Add an article

a dependable

show examples

source of rhapsodic in professional life, but

it’s

Change the verb form

it also provides

show examples

also

provides happiness in personal life. When it comes to

researching

Replace the word

research

show examples

, they

underling

Correct your spelling

underlying

show examples

stronger relationship between

works

Change the noun form

work

show examples

satisfaction and marriage

last

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

more than 73% of workers who are satisfied at the office are more likely

have

Fix the infinitive

to have

show examples

a successful marriage. So those to say that personal affair. To summarize heart in any job, enhances a chance to excel in it, and tries to give the best version of

our

Correct pronoun usage

ourselves

show examples

self

consequently

accomplishes

Wrong verb form

accomplishing

show examples

welfare

Submitted by tyulyubayeva.ayaulym on Tue Oct 24 2023

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task response

Try to develop a clearer argument throughout your essay, ensuring each paragraph contributes to your overall point of view. Some paragraphs contain sentences that are not very clear or directly relevant to the main idea. Also, ensure that all phrases make complete sense.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay lacks clear transitions between ideas and the overall flow is somewhat disjointed. Aim to connect not only your thoughts within a paragraph but also between paragraphs to improve the overall flow and readability of your essay. Using conjunctive adverbs and other transitional phrases can help achieve this.

lexical resource

You should aim to utilize a broader range of vocabulary and avoid excessively repetitive words or phrases to exhibit your language proficiency. Additionally, make sure the words you're using are appropriately fitting the context. Use of synonyms and different language structures can aid in this.

grammatical range and accuracy

Whilst your grammatical range is somewhat apparent, there are several inaccuracies and awkward phrases throughout your essay that make it hard to understand. Aim to revise your grammar and pay attention to sentence structure and word usage. Remember, accurate use of grammar is key to clearly communicating your ideas and achieving a high IELTS score.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

275 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

remuneration
financial security
motivation
luxuries
material possessions
fulfillment
work-life balance
stress levels
mental well-being
job security

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

some people think that to be successful , you need to get in a university degree. where as others say it is not true. discuss both ideas and give your opinion ?

Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+