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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. Writing 31 Family type Proportion of people from each household type living in poverty single aged person 6% (54,000) aged couple 4% (48,000) single, no children 19% (359,000) couple, no children 7% (211,000) sole parent 21% (232,000) couple with children 12% (933,000) all households 11% (1,837,000)

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. Writing 31 Family type Proportion of people from each household type living in poverty single aged person 6% (54,000) aged couple 4% (48,000) single, no children 19% (359,000) couple, no children 7% (211,000) sole parent 21% (232,000) couple with children 12% (933,000) all households 11% (1,837,000)
#minutes #proportion #categories #families #poverty #australia #summarise #information #features #comparisons #type #people #household #person #couple #children #parent #households
Given table shows the information
Change preposition
on
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 family types in
Austrailia
Correct your spelling
Australia
 in 1999, and
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
given
Add the auxiliary verb
was given
show examples
 as a percentage.
This
 is a brief
discription
Correct your spelling
description
 on behalf of
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
above given
Add a hyphen
above-given
show examples
 chart.
According to
this
sole
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
parent family was
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 common(21 %) type and unmarried
people
 without children
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 slightly less (19%) than sole parents.
How ever
Correct your spelling
However
show examples
 usual families,
couples
Correct word choice
and couples
show examples
 with
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 were
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 type in that year and as a percentage that
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 was 12%. Group of members who live as
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
one family had taken only 11% in 1999. There wasn't
remarkable
Add an article
a remarkable
the remarkable
show examples
 gap between married
people
 who had no children and single
aged
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
 and as amount 359000 and 54000 were the amount respectively. Aged
people
 who live as couples were only 48000 and 4% was the percentage.
According to
 the given chart in
Austrilia
Correct your spelling
Australia
 sole
parency
Correct your spelling
parent
 was very popular and aged couples were the less family type in 1999.
Submitted by laksrijayashan on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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