Many high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. So, companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Although
there are more than 50 per cent of females who are employed in advanced countries, from CEO to COO positions are somehow occupied by males.
Therefore
, I agree with the notion that
women
should have a higher chance by now to fill the C-suite. In
this
globalization era,
women
are exposed to the same education as men, unlike a century ago.
Women
now can join engineering majors at university, have a terrified score and
graduat
Correct your spelling
graduate
graduated
in a short time. 68% of
women
have better GPAs compared to men, as proven by research.
This
proves the dedication, consistency and excellency a woman can bring once they enter an organization or a company.
For example
,
women
can be more dedicated to the company because they strive for the best outcomes and want good results as they get used to achieving them in college.
On the other hand
, the reason behind high-level positions being male-dominated might be gender bias. Some people are still afraid to hire
women
as managers because people think
women
will be too reluctant to make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
complex decisions and worry that later they
are
Wrong verb form
will be
show examples
too vulnerable to handle
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outrageous issues.
However
, studies
proven
Add a missing verb
have proven
show examples
,
if
Correct word choice
that if
show examples
women
and men face the same complex issues,
women
are the ones will have better resilience from stress.
For instance
, if a woman manager encounters
a
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apply
show examples
trouble, she will stay longer
for solving
Change preposition
to solve
show examples
the problem and
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
show examples
to not give up because she recovers quickly from the pain.
Furthermore
, she can focus
to work
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on working
show examples
on the case rather than focus on her own stress from facing the issue. In conclusion, I believe that
women
can have a huge impact on businesses if they are allowed and have more chances to demonstrate their skills at the C-suite level.
Hence
, as gender equality matters, a company should not section employee by gender and look
further
at their skills.
Submitted by matcha on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Include a brief introduction that states your position on the topic and a conclusion that summarizes your main points.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to add variety and depth to your writing.
grammatical range
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender disparity
  • glass ceiling
  • workforce representation
  • gender diversity
  • equal opportunity
  • professional advancement
  • social equality
  • gender equality
  • empowerment
  • barrier
  • discrimination
  • inequality
  • bias
  • reinforce
  • inclusive
  • combat
  • strive for
  • promote
  • nurture
  • enhance
  • progressive
  • implement
  • quota system
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