IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in varlous categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in varlous categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given
bart
Correct your spelling
bar
 chart illustrates the money that one country's
export
Use synonyms
had earn
Wrong verb form
earned
show examples
 in 5 different categories in 2015 and 2016, and the table shows the ratio change in all
categaries
Correct your spelling
categories
 from 2015 to 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
, petroleum products and engineered
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
 had the biggest
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
 and the figure
also
Linking Words
 rose from 2015 to 2016,
however
Linking Words
, textiles had the least
export
Use synonyms
value
Use synonyms
 among all, but the number of
earning
Correct your spelling
earnings
show examples
 increased the most. To start with, the highest
earing
Correct your spelling
earning
show examples
 was petroleum products,
earned
Correct pronoun usage
which earned
show examples
 about 60
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2015, and
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
 3% in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 year,
Linking Words
then
Rephrase
apply
show examples
followed by engineered goods,
earned
Correct pronoun usage
which earned
show examples
 around 58
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
, and increased
8.5
Change preposition
by 8.5
show examples
% in 2016.
Then
Linking Words
 the
nuber
Correct your spelling
number
 of
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
 dropped significantly when it
comes
Wrong verb form
came
show examples
 to gems and jewellery, it only had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
value
Use synonyms
 of
approximily
Correct your spelling
approximately
 42
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
, and it was
also
Linking Words
 the only
export
Use synonyms
 earning that decreased in 2016, it went
downed
Replace the word
down
show examples
 by 5.18%. And
aricultural
Correct your spelling
agricultural
 products'
export
Use synonyms
value
Use synonyms
 in 2015 was about 31
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
, and only
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
 0.81% in 2016.
Lastly
Linking Words
, textiles had the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
export
Use synonyms
value
Use synonyms
 among all, only
earned
Wrong verb form
earning
show examples
 about 17
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2015, but the figure
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
 15.24%, which rose the most in 2016.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words export, value, billion, dollars with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: