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Writing Samples
Band 5

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages
#show #proportions #british #students #university #england #languages
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The pie charts
provides
Change the verb form
provide
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 information about
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of students from
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 at one university who are capable of speaking other
languages
Use synonyms
besides
Linking Words
 English is
devided
Correct your spelling
divided
 into 6 groups, research conducted from 2000 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, at first
sight
Add a comma
sight,
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 it can be seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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Spanish and other
languages
Use synonyms
 were quite popular
while
Linking Words
, the least popular were two other
languages
Use synonyms
 and German only. In 2000, Spanish had less than a third of British Students who were able to speak.
Moreover
Linking Words
, people who did not know any other language had 20%.
In addition
Linking Words
, German only and two other
languages
Use synonyms
gropus
Correct your spelling
groups
 had 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Another language
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
French
only
Rephrase
apply
show examples
was
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
5% less than people who knew only English. Regarding to 2010 pie chart, Spanish and
another language
Fix the agreement mistake
other languages
show examples
 number of students
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased by 5%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
show examples
 four groups had equal one in ten
prcent ofstudents
Correct your spelling
per cent of students
.
Submitted by zarinadalab on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words languages with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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