IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages
#show #proportions #british #students #university #england #languages
The pie charts
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 information about
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of students from
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 at one university who are capable of speaking other
languages
besides
 English is
devided
Correct your spelling
divided
 into 6 groups, research conducted from 2000 to 2010.
Overall
, at first
sight
Add a comma
sight,
show examples
 it can be seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Spanish and other
languages
 were quite popular
while
, the least popular were two other
languages
 and German only. In 2000, Spanish had less than a third of British Students who were able to speak.
Moreover
, people who did not know any other language had 20%.
In addition
, German only and two other
languages
gropus
Correct your spelling
groups
 had 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Another language
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
French
only
Rephrase
apply
show examples
was
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
5% less than people who knew only English. Regarding to 2010 pie chart, Spanish and
another language
Fix the agreement mistake
other languages
show examples
 number of students
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased by 5%.
Furthermore
,
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
show examples
 four groups had equal one in ten
prcent ofstudents
Correct your spelling
per cent of students
.
Submitted by zarinadalab on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words languages with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: