IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The line graph gives information about percentage changes in total crime arrests for persons under 18 by locality, 1995-1998. Summarise the information and make comparison where relevant.

The line graph gives information about percentage changes in total crime arrests for persons under 18 by locality, 1995-1998. Summarise the information and make comparison where relevant.
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The percentile of majority
crime
Use synonyms
arrest
Fix the agreement mistake
arrests
show examples
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals under the age of 18 by locality from the
year
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1995 to 1998 is depicted by the line graph After analyzing the chart, It is evidently seen that there
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 been
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
 fluctuation, at the start of the
year
Use synonyms
 there was a negligible difference, after
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 there
had been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 a sudden upward jump in the
crime
Use synonyms
 rate
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
suburban
Add an article
the suburban
a suburban
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 which is close to 8%
while
Linking Words
 the
crime
Use synonyms
 figure
show
Use synonyms
 similor
trend
Use synonyms
 from the rural and urban area which is around 3% and 2% in the
year
Use synonyms
 of 1996.
In addition
Linking Words
 from 1996 to
1997
Add a comma
1997,
show examples
 the offence ratio
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 suburban places saw a sudden drop and moved to
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 figure obtaining
Correct your spelling
around
arround
Correct your spelling
around
-2% of illegal
act
Fix the agreement mistake
acts
show examples
however
Linking Words
 in
latter
Add an article
the latter
a latter
show examples
year
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
crime
Use synonyms
 rate figure rose
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
show examples
 2% which is
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 number among
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 of them moving ahead, in the
year
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1995 to 1996 rural and urban streets had a
similor
Correct your spelling
similar
show examples
 pattern and did not
show
Use synonyms
 any difference having a percentile of almost 2% and 4%
Add the comma(s)
, in contrast,
show examples
in contrast
Linking Words
 rural
crime
Use synonyms
 rates area
show
Use synonyms
downward
Correct article usage
a downward
show examples
 direction and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nearly 2% whilst urban
show
Use synonyms
 negative
trend
Use synonyms
 hit to
nealy
Correct your spelling
nearly
 -2% in the
yearof
Correct your spelling
year of
year
 1997. In the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
, both the areas
Use synonyms
show
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
 a huge negative decline
trend
Use synonyms
 and
obtain
Wrong verb form
obtained
show examples
 the value of -35 and -4% given period of time
Overall
Linking Words
, It is vividly clear that all
pattern
Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
show examples
show
Use synonyms
 major fluctuation,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
 suburban
crime
Use synonyms
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
show
Use synonyms
upward
Add an article
an upward
show examples
trend
Use synonyms
in contrast
Linking Words
 to
Correct your spelling
rural
rual
Correct your spelling
rural
 and urban areas of
crime
Use synonyms

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, in contrast".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words crime, year, show, trend with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 4 times.
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